Disabled.

Nine

Nine

Nadia smiled to herself as Jackson tangled his hand with hers. She felt the sand beneath her feet with each step, feeling the warmth. She wiggled her toes in the sand, allowing the warmth to spread as Jackson pulled her closer to him.

The couple didn't say anything to each other as they continued to walk side by side, arms around each other's waist. A light breeze surrounded them, blowing Nadia's hair onto her face. She felt Jackson's hand on her face as he removed the hair. A large smile took over her face once she was able to see his eyes after he had moved the hair.

At that moment, she wanted to say something to him. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't move her lips to form any words. Her smile turned into a frown as she continued to try to speak. But with each attempt, she found herself losing energy.

"You don't need to say anything, Nadia," Jackson said, smiling brightly.

Why not?, she asked in her mind.

"Because all we need right now is just to be able to see each other. In this world, you can't say anything that hasn't already been said."

She looked at him, unsure of what she had just heard.

In this world? Which world is that?

And that was when she realized that she wasn't in the real world at the moment. Because in the real world, she could no longer walk.

And worst of all, Jackson was no longer there.

---

Nadia woke up with tears in her eyes, to the brightness of the lights in her hospital room. She looked around, initially unsure of where she was. However, as soon as she recalled how similar the room was to the one she had been in after the accident, she realized that she was in a hospital. She heaved a deep sigh as she looked back at the ceiling.

"You're awake," she heard someone's voice, immediately flinching. She quickly wiped her tears before allowing her head to turn towards the person and she was surprised to see that it wasn't her mother.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

Mason stood up from where he had been seated and walked towards her with a folder in hand. He shoved the folder in her direction.

"I brought your homework."

As soon as she heard that, she couldn't hold back the laugh which escaped. And in the corner of her eye, she noticed the corner of his lips turning at her reaction.

"Do you think I'll be able to do homework when I'm like this?" she asked rhetorically, noticing his smile disappear.

"Is a girl who tried to kill herself someone who can think of homework at a time like this?!" she suddenly yelled, feeling frustrated as her memories of what had happened returned to her. Mason placed the folder on her bedside table and asked in a soft voice,

"Why did you do it?"

As soon as she heard that, her frustration disappeared and instead, it was replaced with uncertainty. His words repeated in her head over and over again. And with each repetition, she found it harder to reply.

At the time, when she was reaching for the pills, she felt so certain that she had a reason. But now, as his question continued to repeat in her mind, she wasn't so sure.

A moment of silence surrounded them at that point until Mason spoke.

"Was it because of how people were treating you? How they were all calling you a handicap?"

Again, she couldn't find a reply.

"Don't let labels define you," he said.

Don't let labels define you, his words repeated once again in her mind. She looked at him questionably.

"How is that even possible? My whole life in high school I've been the most popular person, the one that everyone wanted to be friends with. How can you suddenly expect me to live as a handicap?"

"Do you even know what that word means?"

She couldn't answer. 

He sighed and walked back to where he had been sitting, picking up a backpack from the floor, and slinging it over his shoulder. He walked towards the door and placed a hand on the handle. But before he left, he said to her,

"Before you decide to accept a label that people have given you, why don't you look it up?"

And after he had left, all she could do was continue to stare at the door as his last words continued to hang in the air.

After a few minutes of looking at the door, she heard a vibration from her bedside table, causing her to look over to find her phone vibrating. She picked up her phone and tapped on the notification before entering her passcode.

And as soon as she saw what the notification was, her eyes began to fill with tears as the phone slipped out of her hand and eventually landed on the floor. 

On her Facebook wall, all she could see were posts about suicide from people who she once thought were her friends. But it wasn't the posts which got to her as much as the thought of everyone knowing about what she had done.

But how could everyone already know? The only person who knew was Mason.

And as that thought registered in her mind, that was when she finally realized who could have been behind it. Since they weren't friends or in any other relationship, why wouldn't he tell everyone?

Nadia continued to cry until her door opened to a nurse dressed in purple scrubs. As soon as she noticed that someone had entered, she wiped away her tears and looked at her as she approached.

"Hi Nadia, my name is Brianna and I'll your nurse for tod─ why are you crying?" the nurse asked.

And even though the tears had stopped running, she couldn't find the strength to tell her why she had been crying. And instead, she continued to lay on her bed, still facing the door. She heard movement behind her as the nurse moved around the room. But she didn't turn to look. All she could think about was the fact that Mason had told everyone in her school.

"Who was that guy by the way? Is he your boyfriend?" the nurse asked her, breaking the silence which had surrounded them. Nadia's head quickly turned to the nurse, watching her as she placed her phone on the bedside table, as she replied,

"He's not my boyfriend."

The nurse remained silent for a few moments as she walked to the other side to check her IV.

"Really? He's such a great friend then. He sat in that spot," she pointed to where she had found Mason sitting, "since you were admitted. And he didn't leave until your mom told him to get to school. And as soon as school was over, he came right here and told your mom to leave while he sat in her spot."

And although she had heard what the nurse had said, all she could think of was the fact that he has spread the news of her suicide attempt throughout the whole school. And that made her say to the nurse,

"He's nobody to me."

* * *

[edited - 2019/06/30]