Shield - Gallavich

Chapter one - Sleepless

Its been four months. Four fucking months stuck in this shithole with nothing but Ian's words repeating over and over through my head. I'm staring at this goddamn grey wall, tears threatening to spill at any moment.

I wont let them...not this time. Jesus, when did I become such a fucking wet wipe?

"Move." what the fuck? I look up from my depressed state and see a blonde haired guy who's towering over me. I stand up from the creaky bunk bed to meet his face.

"What the fuck did you just say?" I reply, giving my best intimidating look and I feel my eyebrows rise on my forehead. Ian always used to tease me about my eyebrows and make comments about how if I raised them too high they would fly away. There he goes again, even when I try to block him out. He just creeps back into my thoughts, uninvited. Fuck, I've got it so bad.

"Woah, chill. I was just joking." The blonde looks me in the eyes and gives a smug smirk obviously amused at my defence. He continues to intrude "what you thinking about anyway?" who the fuck is this guy and why the fuck is he here in my cell?

"None of your damn business. Who the hell even are you anyway, dickhead." I'm intrigued by this guy. I've been in juvie multiple times and not once has someone came up trying to be jokey and friendly. What does he want? He clearly wants something from me.

This is not the kind of place that people just make friends. Not that I have many friends anyway. I mean, I have lots of contacts but I wouldn't consider any of those assholes to be my friends. People either speak to faces that they knew on the outside or keep to themselves, thats just the way it is.

"Do you always call people you don't even know dickheads?" He jokes again but with a slightly serious tone behind his voice. "Name's Evan" I watch as he sits down on the bunk beside me and urges for me to do the same. Hell no. I don't trust this guy and being stood up makes me feel a sense of power. If he tries anything then I will be ready to defend myself. I stay stood up and he lets out a slight laugh.

"Mickey. Mickey Milkovich." I tell him my name and he replies almost instantly "Yeah yeah, I know who you are" How does he know? He must know from when I beat up that Kev last week. That shit spread around this place like wildfire which confuses me, people get beat up all the time in juvie. I don't understand why this particular beating got everyone talking. Not that it bothers me, it just makes people want to stay away which makes my life easier.

I don't even know why I beat him. I said it was because he was taking too long to decide which food he wanted, fucked up I know but I've done worse. I'm constantly bullshitting myself. Hiding from the real reasoning behind it. I know deep down that I beat that guy up to earn extra time in here, i'm not ready to face Ian yet it will break me I know it will. I just need a little more time.

Just as i'm about to ask this douche how he knows my name, a loud voice blares through the speakers signalling everyone to return to their own cells.

"Suppose that i'll see you around, Mickey Milkovich." Is that supposed to be a threat or something? Whatever, I'm just fucking glad that the prick is gone.

I lay back down onto my bunk and watch as Ryan strolls through minutes later and crashes onto the bunk. Ryan is my cellmate, prick hasn't even whispered a word to me since he got here. Not that I care, I would rather have silence than become best buddies with Ryan.

My train of thought begins to spiral and within seconds I am back to thinking about him...Ian Gallagher. I wonder what he's doing right now? Probably working. I'll never admit it to him but I hate him working at that club. The thought of all those pervy old men staring at him like he's some twink for rent makes me want to throw up. I shake my head in an attempt to rid the thoughts from my mind. A few minutes later, I roll to my side and try to get some sleep.

"What does that even mean" the scene of our breakup plays out in front of me. I watch as Ian slowly tears me into two with his words. I am stuck watching with no escape...frozen. Right on cue Sammi shows up with her gun. Except this time something is different. I follow her target... she's aiming at Ian. Before I have time to react the gun goes off. BANG!! Ian drops to his knees, his eyes never breaking contact with mine. His body slams against the concrete floor beneath him. I stand there, my face covered in his blood.

"Its a shame when someone you love gets taken away. Isnt it?" Sammi whispers into my ear as I begin to move and hold him, cradling Ian's lifeless body in my arms.

"NO!!" I shoot up from my bunk with my breathing heavy. I check my surroundings, ensuring that nobody heard as my screams echo throughout the small cell. Nobody did. I am sweaty and shaking while trying to catch my breath. I am thankful that my dream was just that. It was just a dream... a nightmare.

After around an hour of recovering and listening to fucking Ryan toss and turn in his bed I am finally able to drift back to sleep. Hopefully, I can have a good 6 hours of peace though I wouldn't count on it.