Because of Samantha | Original Novel

14 - Because of Bonfires

Usually, when I arrive on the beach this late, there is nothing more than the soft moonlight to accompany me, along with the soft sound of the ocean.

Usually, when I arrive on the beach this late, there is no fire light lifting up, up, up into the sky. There is no laughing, half-drunk teens occupying the sound of the ocean. There is no scent of barbecued hamburgers, or strong alcoholic drinks.

Usually, when I arrive on the beach this late, I am alone.

However, this is a bonfire. A social gathering full of drunken teens and charred ca-bobs. I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do, so I ended up following Kim like a lost duckling. She didn't ditch me, though. I was grateful for that.

"See, it's not too big of a deal," Kim shrugs. "Sure, there's that strange alcoholic drink, and sure, there's that lame out-of-tune pop song on the radio, but all you really do is sit around some gasoline flame fuel and talk to all the others."

"I don't know how to talk to the others," I cry exasperatedly. "That's my problem!"

"Don't worry. You don't have to! Just come sit by me, your dearest friend, and listen to what they have to say. You know, as a writer, listening to conversations is all I really do."

I sigh, taking a seat on the chunks of wood so-creatively circled about the fire. Kim sits beside me, throwing one leg over her other. Some people stare at her and whisper, but she just sits there, smiling pleasantly. By the looks of it, you would've thought she was sitting on the couch at home.

"Kim," Stacy drawls, sporting a brand-new short hairstyle that most girls are sure to take on when we go back to school on Monday, "So great to... see you again."

"Loving the hair, Stace," Kim winks. Stacy growls and stomps away dramatically while Kim rolls her eyes, turning to talk to whoever sat beside her.

I am not a writer.

I do not find the conversation the slightest bit interesting. Instead, like the dedicated artist I am, I end up tracing pictures in the sand with the tips of my toes. I could tell that it was getting darker, only because I knew this beach. It was, after all, like a second home to me. Anybody could be blinded by the firelight and lose track of time.

However, I was aware of every passing second.

"Hey, I'm gonna grab us some burgers," Kim declares, standing straight up and striding over to the grill easily.

I sigh, setting my chin in my waiting hand. I wasn't having any fun, mainly because I'm afraid to. I'm afraid to let myself go all-out, and be remembered. I don't want to be remembered. Isn't that the strangest thing?

Kim sure was taking a while. I begin to tap my foot numbly, vaguely able to make out the sounds of laughter and joy. The only thing I really am sharply aware of, is the body sitting beside me in Kim's place.

"Hey."

I glance over into the blue, slightly-weary eyes of Aaron Peters.

"Hey, Aaron. Long time no talk," I say dryly. "Did you have fun with Tracy, you know, a few days ago?"

"I'm sorry," Aaron sighs, rubbing his face with a lazy hand. "She took me without even asking, then wouldn't lemme text you. Said it was rude to use my phone. When we were done, I had tryouts, and for the next couple of days, that's what I was doing. I was too scared to face you."

"You've never been scared to face me before," I mumble.

This is one of the rare occasions in which Aaron Peters does not have an answer. I knew the answer, but I knew it very begrudgingly. It was because things are changing. Even thinking about it brought a small jump to my heart.

"Do you want to do something tomorrow? I want to make it up to you."

"Uh, sure." I have to admit - through this entire night of numbness, this is where I actually get caught off-guard. "Don't ditch me this time, please," I add. "You have no idea how upsetting that really was."

"I would never want to upset you," Aaron promises, with a very in-character wink. "Chicks tend to make things worse than they really are, you know."

I had a really easy retort.

"Dudes tend to brush off real feelings that are begging to be felt."

***

That... was... awful, some of my worst writing in fact. I just don't even... I haven't been able to write even slightly decent since the beginning of this book. I'm sorry. I don't know where all that has gone. I'm not feeling this chapter.

I have amazing plans. I just simply cannot write them out well enough. Oh, well. I'm gonna finish it anyways.

Bye.