Because of Samantha | Original Novel

11 - Because of Loneliness

There's this part of town with these really cute vintage-looking shops. I've been visiting the ice cream shop since I was a small girl, holding the hand of my missing father, or tugging on the back of my mother's sweater, begging for the delectable frozen treat. It was a cool place, with a jukebox and a blue and white tile floor. It was called "Randy's Finest."

It was owned by a small hippy of a man named Randy. He's been around for as long as I could remember. He knew each of his consistent customers by name, and even bothers to remember what flavors they enjoy the most. So when I walked into that shop, he says, "Sam! I take it you're here for your orange sherbet?"

"Yes, please," I answer meekly.

"Your friend looks new. What's your name, ma'am? And what sort of flavor would you be going for today?"

"I'm Kim," my 'friend' replies. "And I think I'll go for some chocolate."

Randy fulfills our orders, hands us the ice cream, and asks us to take a seat. Kim and I sit down at the table near the very back, right by the window. I usually take the seats by the window, so I can watch the people hanging around outside. No, not in the creepy way. I'm just... people-watching. For some reason, knowing that these people, so insignificant to my life have one of their own to worry about, is fascinating.

"Thank you for the ice cream," I say.

"Seriously, man! It's really no problem at all. Like I said - I wanted ice cream, too. I was only being polite." Kim was brushing me off like her gestures don't even matter. I always thought it was funny when humans did that. We humans sure are strange. "So, I take it that you go here often?"

"Since I was little," I reply, thinking back on how I used to come every Tuesday evening, when the shop was the least busy. "I came here a lot as a family, and if not as a family, with my dad." I let out a sad sigh. "He'd take me after school on Tuesday if my mom had to work late."

Kim smiles a somewhat melancholy smile.

"It's a cool ice cream shop," she comments, looking around. "All the others around town are too... mainstream. This one's pretty quiet."

"Yeah," I agree. "The ice cream here is actually much better than those newer ones."

Realizing how long this shop has stood here, I feel almost happy that it hasn't changed one bit since I was little. I've been going here for fourteen years, after all, and would expect it to have shifted a little. But, no. It hasn't. Not one bit.

It made me... grateful.

***

"I'll see you tomorrow, Sam!" Kim waves from her car merrily as I walk up the stairs of my porch, open the door, and wave back shyly. It's still weird for me to have another friend aside from Aaron, but I'm not even sure if Aaron still even wants to be my friend. He's the one who left without a single word. Secretly, at that ice cream shop, I've checked my phone several times to see if he had the manners to to even text me that he made other plans.

Nothing.

I lumber up the staircase to my room, paying no mind to my mother and Dennis cuddled up and hunched over a laptop. I open the door to find Margret yapping on her brand new not-yet-out iPhone to some person she bullied into being her friend, and ignore her, too. I sit down on my bed, Valentino nuzzling up next to me, and I pet him. He was the first and only thing in this house that I'd want to see.

Margret chucks a book at me, which in her language, meant to get out. It wasn't a hardcover, but I still took note of the gesture, and exited my - I mean her - room. The sounds of her fake giggles followed me all the way out the door. I stumble downstairs again. Dennis and mom are gone.

I fly out the door, shove my hands into my pockets, and numbly walk around on the sidewalks. I found myself on the path to the beach. I could see the blue ocean in the distant horizon line, and a few lingering people and their brightly colored umbrellas. We were close enough to the beach now, that very sight is always seen from my bedroom window.

I'm lost.

I was wondering, pondering, just trying to figure it out. Just what was I feeling? Well, all along, I wasn't feeling at all. I was just... lost.

When I finally start to see sand, I walk off towards the black rocks. They were glistening with an orange glow as the sun set behind the ocean. A few people were snapping pictures on their phones and cameras, but I refrained. A sunset should be cherished for all its five-second glory. A photo cannot capture its complete beauty, but your eyes can.

I remember, back in the seventh grade, we were to remember a poem by Robert Frost. Nothing Gold Can Stay. Yes, I remember it to this day. Our English teacher drilled it in our heads, day after day after day, until it became just common knowledge.

Nature's first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf's a flower, but only so an hour.Then leaf subsides to leaf, so Eden sank to grief,So dawn goes down to day,

Nothing gold can stay.

I used to wonder what that man meant by this poem.

But now, I have an idea.

***

FEELS! Feels are way up in this hizz-ow. I also had to memorize that poem... It's my favorite poem. I'm an Outsiders geek, so like, my heart aches and aches and aches after writing that. RIP Robert Frost, RIP fangirl feels, RIP me.

Anyhow, this chapter's a bit fuzzy and hazy. I know. I'm just like, not feeling good at all. I went to sleep earlier last night, but I wake up and still feel like crap. More updates to come.