The Loner

Chapter 14: Exposed

"Zayn?" I said as we were sitting down on his couch.

"What love?" He asked me taking his eyes off the television to look at me.

"When am I going to get a house of my own? I mean I can't stay with you the whole time. We barely know each other! I'm supposed to be paying for myself." I didn't want to sound rude.

"Well, I was hoping that you wanted to stay here. I have the money to pay for you, and I always need the company." He smiled after he said this to me.

"Are you sure?" I didn't want to waste his time. He was famous for crying out loud! I was just a random American chick who happened to run into Zayn Malik.

"But Zayn, I'm just a random chick! Why would you want me to stay here?"

"Because I really like having you here. I kinda get lonely when I'm alone." Ugg he did it again, looking at me with his dark brown eyes that made me shiver.

After about thirty minutes or so I started getting tired and laid my head down on Zayn's lap.

"Is this ok?" I didn't want to invade his privacy.

"Anything for you love." He said it again! Yet I loved it. When I was laying down he started twirling my hair with his fingers. I noticed he tried braiding it. His tongue poked out slightly out if his mouth. He was is deep concentration. I think he noticed me looking because his eyes jerked down to my direction. I smiled at him. He smiled back. I was screaming inside;this was really happening.

Zayn grabbed my hand and started rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. I was all jittery inside. Somehow my shirt sleeve slipped down and everything was reviled. My cuts were exposed, out in the open. I instantly tried to pull my sleeve up, but Zayn stopped me.

"Sam..." He looked so concerned. I felt tears swelling in my eyes. They started pouring down my cheeks.

"You hate me now don't you..." I didn't want him seeing my like this.

"Are you kidding me! I could never hate you! I just want to know why someone as beautiful and perfect as you do this to yourself." He was so nice to me.

I guess I was going to have to tell him my entire life story. This is going to be a while, I thought to myself. I was a little nervous about telling him. But I did anyways. I told him about my parents, Viviana, Lizzy, and just my life in general. He listened the entire time, never interrupting me once. It meant the world.

I took one last final breath and I was done telling my life story. I didn't notice until that moment I finished, he was crying. This boy made me so happy. He cared to listen to my story. He brought me into his home. I pulled him into a tight hug. He smelled good and his body warmth felt good against mine. I pulled away and looked at him.

"So," I said "that's my horrible story. Now you see why I moved here."

"Sam. I've never heard of a story like this. It's terrible and it should have never happened to someone like you. All the things those bitches said to you aren't true. You're beautiful and funny."

I started tearing up a bit. I've never had someone care.

"Now let my see your arms." Zayn took my arms. I was hesitant at first, but he coaxed me to lift up my sleeves. The scars were still there, but also healing. There were a lot, running up and down my forearms and wrists.

*flashback*

I sat in my desk chair, holding my razor. I gripped it forcefully and dragged it across my skin. It burned, but the pain felt good. That's how I released my emotional pain. The blood dripped out of the cuts, giving me a satisfying feeling. I threw the razor in my bottom drawer and pulled down my sleeves. I left for school that morning.

*end of flashback*

His eyes were full of worry. I knew it was wrong to what I did to myself. But what else was I supposed to do?

"I don't want you doing this to yourself anymore. You're too beautiful for this." He's so sweet to me.

"It's kind of hard Zayn, it's an addiction. You wanna see some things that my dad did to me?" I wanted to show somebody, they'd been in my body for ages.

"Sure.." He sounded a little scared.

I lifted up my shit to reveal my stomach. There were scars and old bruises all over. I also lifted up my sweats to show my thighs. There were also scars there. My arms were a mess, and my face was covered with a bit of make up. I looked hard at my body. So disappointing I thought.

"This is what I used to go through every day..." I said this quietly. Zayn had tears streaming down his face. I noticed him looking at my lips. He wanted to kiss me. My heart sped up so quickly. I'd never had my first kiss.

Zayn leaned is, he was close to my face now. I felt his hot breath on my face. I couldn't do it. I pulled away. His face was full of disappointment.

"I'm sorry Zayn... I've never had my first kiss. I'm really nervous." I didn't look at him when I said this, I was almost ashamed.

"Can I be your first?" His voice was shaky when he said this. He was nervous too. I knew he'd kissed plenty of other girls before, but why was he nervous of kissing me? I'm nothing special.

"Ok" I said.

He leaned in, as did I. He closed his eyes and so did I. His lips brushed up against mine. My stomach jumped at his touch. His kiss was amazing. His lips so soft, like silk. They weren't chapped, perfect. Our lips moved in sync and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I played with his hair. His hands were around my waist. I felt like I was floating, his lips on mine, mine on his. It was the best moment ever.

After about a minute we broke away.

"How was that as your first?"

"Amazing." I almost sung because I had a giddy feeling in my stomach. He pulled me into a tight hug and we stayed like that for a while until we both fell asleep.