Dammit I am not in love with you!!!!

Dating Competition

No matter how many rooftops I climb and scream "Dammit Ronald I don't love you and I don't want to date you" -this guy was persistent and he wasn't going to give up. He had this ridiculous idea in his head that dating me would allow him the opportunity to court me and that I would fall so in love with him that I would agree to marry him.

Only problem with this notion was that I already had a boyfriend. We had recently started dating and I liked dating him. I didn't want to end this relationship. And the said boyfriend was looking at Ronald like he wanted to pound his face till it disappeared into the earth's crust. And not stop punching till it reached the core.

"Ronald you don't understand I don't like you. I don't want you to date me. I like Alex and we are good. You and me are never going to happen!"

"Well you don't like me because you don't know me. Get to know me and you will like me. And you have to date me for that." He just completely ignored the part where I said I liked Alex. Damn that selective hearing is like a disease. Everyone was afflicted.

And Ronald's persistance to date me was seriously bothering Alex and I was pretty sure he was going to do something that would land him in jail for assault charges. And I had to stop him. Problem was how do you stop one angry alpha male? Simple you just kiss him like you were on the titanic and you knew it was your last kiss.

So before Alex could take a step towards Ronald, I grabbed him with all the force I could muster and kissed him. And probably shocked him too. Because I never initiated a kiss before. After few moments of standing there like an idiot he responded. And the kiss went from a 'good' kiss to 'blow my mind away to Pluto' kiss in a second. We probably forgot that we were in the middle of a press conference where there were cameras flashing and recording us smooching the hell out of each other. I am probably gonna end up in tomorrow's newspapers as front page gossip but right now all I could think was that I was kissing Alex and I never wanted to stop. But we had to because we both were humans and needed to breathe. Damn lungs!

"If I knew you could kiss like that I would have dated you sooner."

"So all I needed to impress you was to plant one kiss on your lips and you would have agreed to date me? Damn I should have listened to myself when I met you that day."

"Oh so you did want to kiss me that day?"

"I would love to continue this conversation and get back to you for that kiss again but I have to beat the shit out of someone....." God I thought he forgot about Ronald but no it was very much on his mind. And he was getting ready to act on it.

"Oh no you don't. You are not getting arrested for assault charges. Specially not when we are in front of the media. No can do."

"Alex chill out. You know my daughter likes you and she is not going anywhere. So you really don't have to worry." Nice one dad. I didn't need you to tell him I liked him.

"I would relax if that dickhead would stop going after my girlfriend. He already got one Carter female. I am not letting him have this one. Tell him to date the other one."

"I don't think I have another sister. Who is he going to date?"

"Darling I think Alex meant your mother." No way! My mother doesn't date younger men. I mean it would be disastrous for her image.

"Ronald can't date my mother. She's older than him by atleast two decades!"

"I don't see how thats a problem for your mother. Wouldn't be the first time for her."

"Mommy is a cougar? Since when? How? Why don't I know about this?"

"I don't think anyone knows. She's very discreet with her affairs. I mean she probably gets them to sign a non-disclosure agreement before she starts her relationship with them."

I have never been so proud of my father. I mean this is the best gift he could have given me- a bargaining chip against my mother. And I wasn't the only one feeling proud. Going by the smile on Ruby's face, my father had managed to score major brownie points with her and he was going to cash in on them too.

My mother was a cougar. So thats the reason for her looking in her mid thirties when she is actually in her fifties. Apparently its the day for revelations because one by one the skeletons are skipping out of the closet.

"Will you stop talking about me like I am not there. And Blaine how do you know this? What proof do you have?" I have never seen my mom so angry and embarassed at the same time. Her reaction is proof enough for me that Dad wasn't lying.

"I'm glad you asked because I have been waiting for this day to come. You see when you gained Livvy's custody I already knew your plans. So I hired investigators to spy on you and report back to me. I have enough evidence of your dealings. I probably knew you wouldn't let go of Livvy so easily. So I kept the proof for future persuasion efforts just in case." Oh my god my father is so devious. He seriously thought of everything. Awwww I love my daddy.

But we still didn't solve the main problem-Ronald. How could I possibly dissuade him from pursuing me. I mean he doesn't seem to notice Alex and the impending danger to his life.

"Dad I love you but we still have the problem of Ronald not taking no for an answer. And if we don't do anything soon, I am afraid my boyfriend is going to land up in jail for murder."

"Well I do have a solution but you are not going to like it." At this point I am willing to agree to anything just as long as it gets me free of Ronald. So I just waved my hand to dispense off with the suspense.

"Well Livvy this guy is persistent and the way I see it he is not going to go away. So you have to date him too!"

"What kind of ridonkulous shit are you spouting dad?"

"What the hell Blaine?" Oh before Alex was annoyed. Now he was just plain pissed. "You want her to date that moron! What is wrong with you?"

"Honey you couldn't have kept your lucky streak going? You know you had just gained some major points. I was going to reward you too!" See told you. My father was probably going to get lucky but he had to screw it up. Even Ruby agreed with me.

"Listen to me before you all start questioning my skills. You don't have to break up with Alex. Double date them. Let them compete for a set time limit and whoever wins gets to date you for real. The loser will never ask you out again."

A dating competition. Thats his solution to this problem. What is this the medieval ages? What am I some Feudal lord's daughter whose hand in marriage is won by the victor of some bloody contest? I am supposed to date two guys together to see who gets to date me for real. That too when I am pretty sure I hate one of the said guys pretty badly for messing up my entire week.

Can't I just punch Ronald and get it over with? I mean not like he hasn't been punched before. It probably wouldn't do him any good but it would make me feel much better.

And I wasn't alone in my murderous thoughts. Going by Alex's facial expressions he was having the same thoughts. For the first time in a long time both of us were in agreement. And not even on a topic worth discussing.