Fixable

Abyss

|RAYLIN'S POV|
I sit clutching my knees, tears streaming down my face.
Stupid fat mouth, stupid fat body, stupid fat me.
Thank god my mom doesn't get home till later
I get up and go into my bathroom and shut the door. I grab one of my razors out of my drawer and sit on the bathroom floor. I take off my hoodie and throw it in a corner.
And I cut
I cut and cut and cut
The blood trickled down my wrist
I felt the burn
This is what I deserve
What my stupid fat disgusting self deserves
Tears stream down my face and I whimper with every slice
Why can't I just die
Why can't I just fall dead right here
I'm too scared to take my own life
I'm a coward
So why can't I just die here
Why can't something just kill me for me?
I'm fat
I'm stupid
I'm a terrible awful bitch
I need to die
I start on my thighs
Stupid, ugly fat legs
I cut until my bathroom floor is stained completely red.
I curl up in a ball and cry
I hate life.

After a painful shower and much bleach for my floor, I put on a new black hoodie, leggings and socks. I don't care that my eyeliner is smudged and colored my cheeks grey
I don't give a crap anymore
I sit on my bed and listen to music

Coma baby
With your sick head

The doctors saved you
But your still dead

Through your scalp I
would like to reach in

So I could pull out
The monster you've been

But you would do
Anything to
Destroy the body
That they
rescued
Your sick little head
So brain damaged
And lying in that
Hospital bed

Coma baby
He cry of your bones

And your skull when
It split on the road

I wish I'd find out
All the lonely remnants
Of you that left when
Your head cracked open

But you would do
Anything to
Destroy the body that
They
rescued
Your sick little head
So brain damaged
And lying in that
Hospital bed

Lately I can't
Recognize you

The doctors lied when
They said they saved you

Your just the shell of
The boy that you've been

And your dying
I can feel it

By the end of the song I'm crying again
Such a crybaby

I hear a knock at the door
Crap
I hurry to the bathroom and wipe my mascara off my cheeks before sliding across the floor to the door
I look through the peep hole

No way....

It's him.
Casper.
I open the door slowly
"Hello..?"
"Hi! I'm your neighbor and my mom wanted me to...."
He trailed off as he realized who I was

|CASPERS POV|

It's her
She lives next door to me?
How?
"R-raylin...
I'm so sorry about today... T-they're idiots...and I'm sorry I made you yell about um..."
I cough awkwardly
"It's fine." She replies, emotionless
"Uh, my mom maid brownies! Here you go! Carful, it's still kinda hot..."
I carefully hand her the pan with foil covering its contents
"Thanks.." She takes it in her hands that aren't visible through the oversized hoodie sleeves. She looks down
She's cute
Wait, do I like her?
No, I...I can't
I just met her
Stop being weird, Casper, get it together
"N-no problem! Uh, mind if I come in?"
"Um, actually yeah. I'm not supposed to have people in the house without my mom, sorry. See you tomorrow."
"Wait!-"
She shuts the door in my face

You really did it this time, idiot..

|RAYLIN'S POV|

"Um, actually yeah. I'm not supposed to have people in the house without my mom, sorry. See you tomorrow."
"Wait!-"
I shut the door.

I'm sorry Casper
But I can't let you get close to me
Or I'll pull you into this abyss
That I've pulled myself into.

I sit on my bed and look out my window at the house next to me.
He's there in his computer chair. He has headphones on and he's just siting there, leaned back with his eyes closed
I get up and shut my blinds

I have to shut him out
I don't want to hurt him