Almost

The Negative Positive

"Bad news isn't wine. It doesn't improve with age."

                                                                 -Colin Powell

Six weeks have past, yet I feel no closer to normal than that day. I still go about things as usual, like the sight of them kissing or sharing secret conversations doesn't make my stomach churn. I walk past the same people every day and wonder how no one notices the change in the atmosphere. But then I figure it's just me and my messed up intentions. 

I mean, how many other girls wish that their fraternal twin sister would just be swallowed by the ground. 

And I suppose I should have expected he would choose her. Its not like he even chose. He didn't know I thought I was an option. But I wasn't. My plain brown hair and brown eyes were nothing to her golden hair and green eyes. She was the picture of our perfect mother while I was just like our nonexistent father. 

My own mother despised me because I looked like the man that stole her heart and her money and her life. I was doomed from the beginning.

I guess I've grown used to it by now. This depressing thing I called a life was starting to become okay when she dropped the bomb.

She was pregnant.

Just my luck, right? Not only does she get the guy , she gets pregnant. And who was blamed? Not the two who made the baby but the older twin that was supposed to watch over her. Yeah, it was all me.

I think you know, but I can't be sure. Now that it's been so long we've kind of just lost contact. Not like there was much to begin with but the glances that spoke a thousand words were gone. 

This is so screwed up and somehow I end up in the middle of all of it.