"Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for"
-Bob Marley
The next days were no better than the first. The only difference was that I couldn't spend them crying because eventually tears dry out. Also, I really couldn't avoid the people I really wanted to because one; one of them lived in the room adjacent to mine and two; the other is in five out of my seven classes.
When you think about it my luck really sucks. Not only did my sister sleep with your best friend, but now they've made it official. This means that I have to turn the volume way up to block out the sickening noise of their conversations.
I'd like to think that the way they've treated me would make me angry and give me a backbone to stand up to them. But I knew better. If asked, I would still give them anything. I wanted to hope that I would never look at Kaleb the same and that I would reject even the idea of us together. Yet, I still hope that he will come to his senses and pick me.
I think you know too. Which is why you always send me those looks. The ones telling me I'm better than this. That I'm stronger than I think. How I hope you're right.
But sometimes I wish you would just stop. I wish you would stop expecting me to toughen up and accept reality. Because it is so much harder than it looks.
I've been fantasizing about this same boy for all the years I've known him. Everyone knew in a small town how limited your choices are. Kaleb was almost everyone's choice, and you just sat aside being passed over.
How strong you must have been to accept it. That you were never going to be first choice. It's been seventeen years and I still haven't accepted that my own twin has more value to everyone than I do.
How depressing do I sound? Way more than you do, I'm sure.
YOU ARE READING
Almost
Kısa Hikaye. I thought about all the times I almost kissed you. All the times I almost told you. ...
