Almost

The Reasons Why

I don't know what we did or if we went all the way. I was drunk and so were you. The only thing I remember is waking up next to you. 

You were fast asleep and looked so peaceful. I wondered why you were second best. You're too beautiful to be runner up. And I know that's a girly word or whatever but it's true.

 Your  tousled obsidian hair was a beautiful partner to your earthly hued skin. Your skin wasn't smooth, it included bumps and scars like to small white line order your chin. A straight and powerful nose rested over plump lips and under thick lashes attached to amber eyes. 

I laid there for a time, watching you slumber. Eventually I realized it was super creepy and snuck out after dressing in my clothes from the night before. 

I can understand why drunk Aria would sleep with you. You understood her like no one else. But I still wonder if I would have done it sober. And I think I would've. I'm weak enough that all you'd have to do is say the word.

I hope that it never happens again. Because if you show any hint of kindness to afterwards, I would have fallen in love with you. It's what happened with Kaleb. My foolishness tricked me into loving that monster of a man. 

But now, I sit here and add this to the list of reason why. Every single reason I have to leave this town and find something better. Something that won't crush me with it's hateful glares and under appreciation. 

And though it pains me to say, your affection will only hold me back.