Until Dawn: Tyrants {Josh Washington}

4//2 chord

^Sleeping With Sirens^
A/N do you guys like this fanfic so far?? I'm really enjoying writing it! Are the lengths of the chapters good or should they be longer? Thanks!

I wonder away from the noise of the living room. Jessica and Emily have always been dramatic, and adding relationships to that drama is never a good idea.
I walk up a set of stairs, the hallways are lined with doors, and I pick the room I've always liked the most. It's small interior is wrapped in old, red wallpaper, and the bed is made neatly before me. Dust is collecting on the empty shelves.
I look outside the window, looking at the trees and the snow. Footprints scatter the forest floor around the house, interrupting the scenery.
I move away, lighting a lamp and setting my backpack down.
A nap sounds good right now. I didn't sleep last night, and haven't been sleeping well in general for the past year.
I remember the whole week after Hannah and Beth's disappearance, where I would close my eyes and all I could do was replay the story behind my eyelids. I cried instead of slept. The feeling of sleep became a rare occurrence.
I let out a breath, still feeling cold, and I lift up the blankets on the bed, curling up under them. Josh will probably turn the heat in the lodge on soon.
He seemed like he's been doing well, for the most part, but what do I know about doing well? I haven't gotten over it in the slightest. I'm so scared that I'll forget about them. I'm terrified, actually.
I hear a knock on the door.
"Come in," I say quietly.
The door squeaks, and Josh's face peeks out from its edge.
"Hey, Josh," I greet him as I sit up. He steps into the room, closing the door behind him.
"Hey," He says in a low voice. "I see you've already settled in,"
I nod. This is the room I've always chosen- it was always the most delicate room to me. The best for painting.
"How have you been? I know that we haven't seen each other in a while," He walks across the room, sitting next to me. His eyes point at the ground.
"I'm sorry. I haven't been in contact much with anyone over the past year," I explain, sounding regretful.
Josh always wants people to feel at home, to feel safe. He would always make sure everyone had a good time, no matter where we were.
"It's so strange being back here. Everything feels different," I point out, shifting to fold my legs.
There's a pause, and I don't know if it's because Josh is agreeing with me or because he just doesn't want to talk about it.
"I know," is all he says.
We sit there for a moment, noise scarce. I don't know why he came in here, maybe just to see how I was, but the silence isn't awkward. It's comforting just to have him here.
"Josh. I can't stop thinking about that night. Just knowing that I can never find out what happened to them. And everyone seems like they've gotten over it and moved on with their lives while I'm stuck, alone with my thoughts. I'm still hurting and... And mourning. How can they get over it when they are the ones that played that prank and made them disappear in the first place!?" I almost yell, breaking the silence.
"I'm sorry," I quickly say. "I guess I just haven't had anyone to talk to about my feelings. During the few phone calls we've had, I tried to make you feel better. But I never told you that I feel so angry and useless. I've felt that way all year, with no resolution,"
He stays quiet for a while.
"Look, I definitely know how you feel, okay? I've had doctors and medication, though. I've called everyone a lot. I talked to Sam a lot. It's been hard getting through this. I think that being here will help us move on," he leans against the wall.
"Maybe," I remain silent after that as he changes the subject to Chris and Ashley hopefully getting together. It's about time, I mean, they do like each other a lot.
I still like Josh a lot. I wonder if he still "loves" me like he drunkenly said he did. Everything has changed since then, though. Maybe he'll end up with Sam. He did say she helped him over the past year and that they talked a lot. I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up together.
Why does it matter, though? Why do I have these emotions?
He continues talking about random things to get his mind off of his sisters, and I want to listen, but I'm overwhelmingly tired, and I lean against the wall with him.
"Remember 3 years ago when we went out into the woods and just explored for a whole day? That was fun," He goes on, but soon, my eyes close and I fall asleep with my head on his shoulder.