Until Dawn: Tyrants {Josh Washington}

6//the world is ugly

^My Chemical Romance^
I run through the snow, my shoes soaking wet, along with my face. The tears haven't stopped. I'm completely lost, in more ways than one. I'm lost in the way that I literally have no idea where I am, and I'm lost in the way that my mind is so destroyed right now that I can't comprehend anything that's happening.
Josh... It couldn't have happened. It was a dream.
No. It wasn't some kind of nightmare. It was so real. It was so incredibly true that I don't think I'll be able to close my eyes without see it anymore.
Why did he have to die? Who would do that to him? What if I never find out what really happened?
My lungs hurt, though I don't stop sprinting away from everything.
He didn't deserve it. He was so thoughtful and kind. I could never see him hurting anyone in his life. I pushed him away this whole year and now he's dead.
I spot a large building before me, and I stop running. I pant, feeling helpless and alone. And cold. I didn't realize how freezing I am. My arms wrap around my cold body as I wonder towards the building.
Is this the sanitarium? I can't tell what anything is right now.
Man, I loved him. How could this happen?
I sink down into the snow, about 50 yards away from the sanitarium. I can't do this.
I begin screaming without even noticing it. I'm yelling and crying, sounding like a wounded animal. I'm shriveled up in the snow, it covering me and making my skin morph into ice, it seems.
I'm on my back, staring at the falling snow and the sky. The white flakes dance in the air, looking peaceful as they float down. Maybe I'll die in this spot. I wouldn't mind.
I think my life just ended with him. I could barely carry on with Hannah and Beth being gone, but now Josh, too?
I'm still screaming. My throat is being torn apart as I continue to tell into the darkness of tonight.
Is the world going to keep going? Are the people I know going to tell me exactly what they did before. "I'm sorry for your loss". But that doesn't bring them back. I wanted to get better so badly.
I've stopped the screaming. Now it's settled to a quiet sob, my body jolting when I hiccup and snot running down my face. I wipe it all away with the sleeve of my jacket.
Is this some kind of out-of-body experience? Because I can't control myself. Everything I am doing, I don't know I'm doing it.
Right now, at this exact moment, my heart feels like it's going to burst inside of me, and it hurts so much. My hands are shaking and covered in snow. I'm shivering and collapsing in every way. How is it that he was alive a couple of hours ago?
My best friend is dead.
I know that I need to go back to the lodge, and find everyone and contact the police. That's what I should do. But like I said, I can't control myself right now.
I hear footsteps in the snow, and panic is mixed in with my complete sadness. I begin to stand, finding it hard to. Whoever came over here is now helping me up, and I look over at them.
It's Josh. He's here. My eyes widen in shock.
"Alora. I am so sorry," He sounds extremely regretful.
I back away quickly. This is a hallucination, right? That happened with Hannah and Beth a couple of times right after the accident.
I don't say anything, not being able to. I stare at him, pain swimming in his eyes.
"Look. I'm going to tell you something. But you can't tell anyone else," He said, slowly stepping closer to me.
I shiver vigorously, my fingers almost blue from being in the snow.
I shake my head in disbelief.
"It was a prank, Alora. I'm not dead. I was hoping you would sleep through it because I never wanted you to be part of it," He begins to explain. Is this my mind's way of trying to cope with this?
"N-No. You're not real," I state.
"Yes, I am. I know. What you just saw wasn't meant for you. I wanted to prank everyone that made Hannah and Beth go out into the woods. They killed them, you know. But you weren't part of that. The police told me that you were with me when it all happened. I didn't expect you to come in and see what you did," He continues.
There isn't any way that he could fake that, right?
"I don't believe you," I say.
He walks closer and wraps me up in a hug. Hallucinations don't hug.
"No," I whisper.
A prank? A fuçking prank?
"I wouldn't be telling you this, but I care about you, Alora. I heard what you said to me in there. Is it true?"
He's still hugging me, warming me up. But I don't want his hugs. No one, even if their sisters died, should cause that kind of trauma to someone. I push him away, looking at him with anger.
"Is what true? That I love you? It was, Josh. How could I love you now? ...You've done something so horrible. If you know what it's like to lose someone close to you, why would you cause that pain to someone else?"
"No, no. Please. I can't take you hating me," He breaks down.
I've stopped crying. I'm still hurting from the sadness, but there's anger mixed in now.
"How could you do this? To people who were there for you? Your friends!" I question him, and he looks weak.
"You... You said that you don't understand how they were okay after what they did," He reminds.
"Josh," I'm crying again. "I want to help you, but, you did something that has caused Ashley, Chris, and I emotion trauma so bad that I'll never forget that image. Even if you are alive,"
"No, please. Alora, I love you," He says the last three words slowly, watching my reaction.
"I love you, Josh. So much. But I need to think about this. I need to go," I walk past him, and he grabs my arm.
"The reason I did this is because the world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me. I need you to understand," He says, letting go.
I walk away from him, not saying anything and not looking back.