We're young and in love, heart attacks waiting to happen

Can you feel... can you feel my heart?

I never forgot those words, they cut like a blade. And that’s when it started. The cuts, the drugs, and the drink. I’d never felt so unwanted. I thought what we had was so much more was it or was I just overthinking it? Warped just finished, so me and Matt N decided to go out for a drink. Matt was probably my best friend, he’d cheer me up when I was sad or felt like shit. I paid for the first round of drinks, I was about to take the first gulp when my sleeve rolled down slightly, and to my luck (sarcasm) Matt saw. He saw everything I tried so hard to hide, they weren’t that deep, just deep enough to feel the pain and get Josh out my system.

He pulled my arm towards him, and looked at me, hissing “Oli, what the fuck are these? You promised me you’d stop.” I frowned to myself and looked down, whispering “I’m sorry… I was just upset… I felt so alone, Matt…” He sighed and pulled me into a hug. “Why’d you do it, mate? Was it Josh again?” I nodded and gently cried into his shoulder. I loved Matt, he was always there to pick up the pieces. He took my hand and we walked back to the bus. He knew I needed sleep, just some time to clear my head. So as soon as we arrived back, that’s what I did. I hopped onto my bunk and shut my eyes.

But I was a light sleeper, so I awoke when I heard Matt hissing down the phone. I could make out very few words. “How could you…? Josh it’s all your fucking… You need to fix… I won’t take no for…” Was Matt trying to bring me and Josh back together? No, he couldn’t have been. Anyways, Josh would’ve never come back to apologise. He was probably in a club sucking the face off some girl. Just the thought of it made me angry.  I just needed to sleep. Sleeping would make it all better.