Save Me Because I Can't Save Myself (Patrick Stump)

Chapter 15

Patrick's POV
*Dream*
I wake up and everything is all foggy and weird. I'm no longer in the tour bus, but out in a field surrounded by a few trees. There's no one around and that makes the situation even creepier. Seriously, what the heck is happening?

Maybe I should go find someone and find out what the heck is happening because this is starting to freak me out.

I notice there's a girl sitting underneath one of the trees not that far away. As I get closer I hear sobs. She's crying. But she looks oddly familiar. Brown hair, dressed in black and wearing glasses. When I get close enough to take in her facial features I gasp. It's Anna. Why is she crying? And why is she here?

"Anna...?" I whisper scared and confused about what is happening. She doesn't reply. Just cries quietly. That's when I notice a bottle of sleeping pills and a razor covered in blood sitting next to her. "Anna!" I yell scared. She still doesn't reply so I grab her by her wrists. Anna winces and I pull my hand away to realise they're completely covered in blood. I look at her wrists. Lined with cuts. Deep ones.

When I can't hear Anna crying anymore, I panic. Shit she's lost a lot of blood. And the pills!! Why didn't I think about that. Was she trying to kill herself? Don't think about that now! Help her.

"Anna?! Answer me please!" I'm crying now. I can't loose her. "I'm sorry 'Trick..." She mumbles before closing her eyes.
*End Of Dream*

That's when I wake up. Thank god that was just a dream. But why did I have that dream? Am I scared Anna would do that? Do I think she's going to? I'm starting to panic, I desperately need fresh air before I pass out.

I carefully get out of bed trying not to wake Anna and head for the door. Once out of the door, I sit on the steps and place my head in my hands. I let the tears flow. I don't even know why I'm crying. Maybe it's because I realised how bad Anna is actually feeling. I never thought about if she wanted to kill herself and now I'm scared that she actually will.

I don't notice that someone is sitting next to me until they speak. "Can't sleep?" They ask. I just nod. "Neither, today's been intense" Yeah it's definitely Brendon. I raise my head and sigh. "I.. Just wish.. She. Would talk to us" I say crying even more now that I'm talking about it. "Patrick. Dude. Don't cry. It's gonna be fine. She'll be fine" Is he trying to convince me? Or himself? He has gotten quite close to Anna and has been involved with a lot.

"Brendon?" I ask. "Yeah?" He asks worryingly. "I had a nightmare, that's why I'm here" I sigh knowing he's gonna ask what it was about. "What happened?" He asks wondering what's got me to worked up. "Anna.. I found her in a field.. She had sleeping pills and a razor around her... She had tried to kill herself... And I couldn't help her. What if that actually happens!?... What if she tries and we can't save her!?" I say almost shouting. I'm about to breakdown. Right in front of Brendon.

There's a silence. Brendon must be worried about it as well. "Brendon, I'm scared. Really scared" And the tears are back. I really need to stop crying, I probably look stupid. "Same" He mutters quietly. So he's scared that she's going to as well? Is there something she's told him?

We stay silent for a while just thinking about what we can do. I'm not sure if the rest of the guys know about it yet. Brendon and I know. Pete knows. I want to tell the others so they know and can help but it's rude and not the thing I should be telling them without her permission. But then they can help. I'm so confused on what I should do. "Do you think we, just us, should talk to Anna while the guys are out or something?" I ask breaking the silence. "We could try, she might not want to tell us. But, yeah we can try" Brendon says. We should probably so it as soon as possible so maybe today, if we get the chance to.