Save Me Because I Can't Save Myself (Patrick Stump)

Chapter 22

Pete's POV
We all give up on truth or dare when Patrick and Anna leave. We probably took it to far. I have no idea what Brendon was talking about but it doesn't sound good.

We end up watching a movie until we fall asleep. About 10 minutes into the movie we hear shouting from Anna and Patrick's room. Oh shits going down.

The yelling only lasts for a few seconds and then Patrick comes back into our room. We say nothing as he sits down. He look like he's nearly in tears. I wonder what happened.

Brendon's POV
A few minutes after Patrick comes back I get a text notification and weirdly so does everyone else.

I see it's a group message with Anna. This doesn't seem good. "GUYS!" Pete yells getting up. At first I'm confused then I skim read over the message. It's looks a lot like a suicide note. OH SHIT.

Patrick's POV
What is going on? Nobody would tell me. Pete is running asking for my key card and I'm completely confused. "What's going on?" I ask for the millionth time. "Anna" is all Brendon says. At first I'm confused and then I think about how she's been acting. NO. I didn't think about that she could try and hurt herself when I left her alone. I'm so stupid

I run into the room where Pete is trying to open the bathroom door. "Anna!" He yells. She doesn't reply and I start to panic. This is all my fault.

Once Pete manages to open the door I'm shocked. Pete yells something to Brendon and he grabs his phone. Probably to ring 911.

Anna is laying in the bath. The water around her is tinted slightly red from her blood. There is around 5 deep cuts up each arm and she is unconscious. I step out of the room and breakdown. I caused this. I caused her to do this. I feel sick just looking at her knowing that it was me that made her want to do this.

Brendon chucks his phone across the room at the wall in frustration and I now see that he's crying as well. This is my fault

Pete moves her out of the bathroom and applies pressure on her cuts to try and stop the bleeding. I move over to her and grab her hand. "I don't know if you can hear me, but I fucked up, I fucked up bad. I love you Anna, please hold on" I say through tears. Brendon is watching from behind, Dallon is trying to comfort him since he's calmer but obviously still upset. I feel bad for Brendon, he is. Was? Close to Anna and I ruined that.

Once the paramedics arrive they take her straight to the hospital. Brendon goes with her after refusing and trying to make me go for minutes. While everyone else travels in a taxi over. I can't stop thinking about how this is my fault. I haven't stopped crying since we found her and I don't think I will anytime soon.

Brendon texts me saying that she's breathing but has lost a lot of blood. I sigh in relief but that still doesn't mean she'll be fine.

Once at the hospital were told we have to wait. Some people recognise us but they don't come and interact with us, which I'm glad because I can't really deal with obsessive fans right now. I rush off to the bathroom sometime and just sit and cry. I don't think I've every cried this much. I love Anna and I really can't loose her. My mind won't shut up with telling me how this is all my fault. I want to shut it up. But I can't do that to Anna. Not now. I need to be here when she wakes up.

Eventually Pete comes to find me and check to see if I'm okay. I'm honestly not. He hugs me. Like I could just fall apart if he lets go. "She'll be fine" Pete says trying to convince me. I want to believe that but I can't. She wanted to die because of me. She could die because if me.

I still don't know where she got the blade from because I swear she gave me all of hers. Unless she kept one just in case. I'm just so confused.

After I've calmed down a bit we head back to the waiting area. Basically straight away a nurse comes to see us. "You're here for Anna Smith?" She asks casually. "Yes?" I reply quickly wanting to know how she is. "She's still unconscious but she's stable, so you can go see her if you want to" She says before walking off. Thank god.

We walk down the hall looking for her room when I'm attacked by a hug. Brendon. He's in tears. He doesn't look like he's stopped crying. But neither do I. "I'm sorry Brendon" Knowing that I'm the reason she did this. "Stop blaming yourself, there must of been something else bothering her" Pete says from behind. She was acting weird for the past few days, but that doesn't stop me feeling guilty. I shouldn't of yelled at her.

We enter the room and everyone is silent. Well except from the sniffles of Brendon and probably me. He is really taking this hard. "We'll leave you for a bit" Dallon says pulling Brendon in for a hug and taking him out of the room. Everyone else follows him.

As soon as they leave I breakdown again. She's pale. Cold. Both of her wrists are wrapped up. I sit next to her and grab her hand. It's cold but I want her to know I'm here. "Anna I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am. I haven't even read your 'note', but I know when I do I'll breakdown. Brendon is a mess, just as much as I am. We need you, all of us do. Just wake up. Please" I say wiping away my new forming tears. It hasn't even been that long, maybe a few hours but I already feel lost without her. Wake up Anna. Please...

Brendon's POV
I sit outside Anna's room. Dallon has no idea how to comfort me. I mean I'm basically just a crying mess. I've gotten close to Anna and I had a feeling she was going to do something like this. Why didn't I stop her? Why didn't I tell anyone that I thought she was going to? I look down at my phone and actually decide to read the message she sent as a note. I scroll down to my name and read.
Brendon, I'm sorry. I know that won't help with the pain you're feeling but you need to move on. I swore to myself that making Brallon a thing would be one of the last things I did and guess what, it was. I hope that I'm already to far gone to be saved, I don't want to put everyone through that stress of waiting for me to wake up again when I just might not. I've been planing this for months so don't blame yourself. Nothing you said could of stopped me, I just was tired of life. Keep an eye on Patrick and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. I loved the months I had getting to know you, you were the best friend I never had.
Good luck with Dallon, don't let all my hard work go to waste
Anna X

And the tears are back. She wanted to die, she was ready and sure that she wasn't going to wake up again. I don't bother to read the others cause it's personal. I just hope Patrick can handle what she wrote. Dallon pulls me in for a hug when he sees I'm crying. Again. I end of falling asleep in his arms. The stress is getting to me already.

Petes POV
We've been at the hospital for 6 hours and nothing as happened. She's shown no signs of waking up anytime soon. Kenny, Dan, Joe and Andy left a few hours ago but they said to call when we were on our way back to the hotel. I'm starting to get tired and by the looks of it Brendon was too. Hes fallen asleep in Dallons arms. Aw cuties. We've all taken this hard but I think Brendon and Patrick have been the worst. They were easily the closest ones to Anna.

Maybe I should go check if he's okay. I walk into the room and he doesn't even move. His head rested on the edge of the bed. Staring at Anna with tears in his eyes. I clear my throat to get his attention. "I think I'm going to head back to the hotel Patrick. Are you going to come?" I ask softly. It was kind of a stupid question. Of course he's going to want to stay with Anna. He will want to be there when she wakes up. If she wakes up. Patrick shakes his head and I leave telling him to message if there is any change.

I wake Brendon and Dallon up on the way past, telling them that we're going back to get some rest. Brendon tries to argue but he gives up after I basically drag him out of the hospital because we need our sleep. In proper beds. And I think Patrick could do with some space.

Even though I don't think many of us will be getting much sleep, too busy worrying about Anna. And also Patrick. I don't think he'd be the same without her. He was happy and more confident when he was around her and I don't want to loose that part of Patrick. Not again.

Patrick's POV
Basically as soon as Pete leaves a nurse comes in to check on Anna. "Mr Stump?" She says looking at me sympathetically. I move out of the way and she continues to speak. "I'm guessing you'll want to stay with here, so here" She says handing me a form to fill in. Once that's filled out she leaves telling me that I should get some rest. It's true. I'm exhausted but I don't think I will be able to anyway.

I grab a blanket from the end of the bed and wrap it around me. The chairs aren't that comfy in a hospital but it will have to do. "Goodnight Anna" I mutter. Even if she can't hear me there's no harm in trying. Maybe I could sing for her tomorrow if she isn't already awake. I sigh forcing myself to get some much needed sleep.  

(A/N- Yay another chapter, I think I'll be ending this one soon, but a sequel??"