I need to fix this, my damage sexuality. This part of me that could make me or break me at this point. Being gay is a disease that I will not get infected with. I will not be those people that are ill-minded, like this fags. I walk into church and pray the Father above to take away this illness, to end this confusion, and to not have to worry about this issue ever again.
I prayed a collective prayer to the Lord, himself, that I'm truly sorry for ever thing this way. I look at the crucifix, seeing Jesus' eyes burning through me, making me feel small. In my head, I was pleading my forgiveness, screaming to Him that I'm sorry. I heard a door slam shut which made me jump. I turn around and it was Cameron.
"They told me, you might be here," he whispered,"Also I need to repent."
I smirked and patted the seat meat to me. He pulls the kneeler down and kneels down. He closes his eyes and whispers the flaws he made. I did the same thing as well, feeling Cameron stare at me on occasions. I would look at him and tell him to stop, but he kept doing it. I tried to concentrate, but it's Cameron, he going to mess with you.
"I'm bored," He groans.
He's like a little kid at church; always needs to be occupied, can't keep still, and annoys the hell out of me. I roll my eyes and did the Sign of the Cross, and we lift the church. I yawned and look at the time. I almost screamed because I got there at six in the morning and it's almost noon. I heard my stomach growling and I guess Cameron heard it too.
"Your mom said you didn't eat breakfast," he said taking out a McDonald's bag,"So, I bought you some."
"Thank you," I said hugging him,"You're a lifesaver."
We laughed and talked about random things until we got to our cars. I was about to open the door when Cameron got my attention, so I turn around and listen.
"Maybe I'll see you at my place," he said kicking a rock.
"Sure, did you eat?" I asked smiling.
"Yes, now let's hurry up," he said playfully pushing me.
I roll my eyes and got in the car. I was about to back out of the parking spot when Cameron flew by. I was kind of pissed because he almost killed me, but it's Cameron, what are going to say to someone that is insane. I back out and followed him. He was so ahead of me, that I couldn't see him because of all this traffic. I saw some storm clouds rolling in, so I called Cameron.
"Hey Cam, I'm not going to be able to make it in time because I remember I have to go back to church later," I lied feeling bad instantly.
"Oh, um okay, I'll see you later?" He asked sounding nervous.
"Um, maybe tomorrow," I said mentally slapping my forehead.
He didn't answer just hung up. I guess I'm going home and doing nothing. I get home getting greeted by my parents and my sister.
"Where's Cammie?" Sky asked looking out the door.
"He's doing something," I said ruffling her hair.
I went upstairs and quickly close the door, close the blinds make sure nobody is listening. I heard the thunder crashed and I run to a corner, hugging my knees to my chest. Yes, I'm afraid of thunder storms. Anyway, another one crashed and I whimpered, seeing the flashes of light outside. I quickly crawl under my bed, covering my ears. I still heard the thunder and still hear the lighting. I started to cry, wanting someone to hold me.
Just then I heard someone jiggling the doorknob. I didn't want to move because I'm too scared to move. I heard another thunder crash which made me yelp. The door sprang open and I see Cameron, looking nervous. I see him look in the closet, outside my door to the bathroom, then he started calling my name.
"Nash, where are you?" He asked biting his lip,"Come on Nash, I heard you yelp, now come on out."
I stayed put, I'm not letting him see me cry. I bet he'll laugh at me for my fear. He's not afraid of anything and here's me who is afraid of fucking thunder. Suddenly, thunder went off and I screamed like a girl. He looks under the bed and pulls me out by the leg. I don't let him see my face, saving the embarrassment.
He tries to wipe the hair from my eyes but I swatted them away and go back under the bed. He pulled me back to the bed and he put my arms behind my back. He takes the other hand and wipes my hair away from my eyes, exposing my tear stained cheeks and blood-shoot eyes.
"Nash, why are you crying?" He asked anxiously.
I bit my lip and looked away from him, feeling my face getting hot. Thunder goes off in the background and I sprinted to the closet, hugging my knees to my chest, and crying my eyes out. Cameron opened the door and looked at me in concern.
"Are you afraid of thunder storms?" He asked kneeling down.
"N-No, of course not," I said lying to his face.
I hear the thunder again and I started shaking like a leaf, sobbing quietly. He looked at me, oblivious of why I'm crying, which was very obvious why.
"Okay, I admit it, I'm afraid of thunder storms," I said ashamed,"Go ahead start laughing, it's hilarious."
To my surprise he pulls me in for a hug and I felt so much better. When he let go he looked into my eyes and smiled at me, wiping the tears away from my eyes.
"Nash, everyone is afraid of something," he said running his fingers through my hair,"I'm afraid of being rejected."
"How is that possible?" I asked looking up at him.
"What do you mean?" He asked giving me a tissue.
"Your Cameron Dallas, you don't have to worry about that," I said smiling up.
I heard three thunders crashing making me hide in Cameron's chest crying my eyes out. I gripped his shirt while he rubbed my back. He rocked me back and forth, which soothed me.
"Shh, it's okay," he cooed.
I feel asleep in Cameron's safe, secure arms....
