Facing reality

7)Nightmares.

19th September 2015

She ran over to me and gave me a hug. I felt paralyzed and couldn't react , I dint know what to do. I dint know what to feel.

Shawn walked towards me and before he could say something

"How did you guys find me?". I yelled.

Amanda looked at me with concern.

"Aren't  you happy to see us?".

"No Amanda, I'm not, especially not him".

"Emily let me explain"

"No shawn, don't you dare say a word, where were you when I needed you huh? You hid like a coward when I was being thrown, starved and laughed at. I dint want your money. I wanted your support. Same goes for you godmother". I spat.

"Yeah your right, I screwed up, I made all the wrong choices but it isn't the same for Amanda. She was sick Em, she's got leukemia and that's why she went away for treatment ,she was distant not just from you but everyone".

" Shawn, stop..

" Why should I Amanda ? She deserves to know the truth. Why do you think she asked you to look for foster homes?. Why did you think she was out of reach?. So don't you dare blame her because she stopped her treatment mid way through just to find you Em".

I couldn't bear it, tears were flowing through my face uncontrollably.

Amanda placed a hand on my shoulder. " Don't cry love"

" I'm sorry I wasn't there Amanda, I'm sorry that I thought you abandoned me".

" its okay love. Even I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for you".

We held each other and cried. Cried till our hearts were content.

"You have to give Shawn a chance , emily. Hes left behind everything just to be with you and your child".

I don't want Shawn in my life because I have Michael . But then that wouldn't be right for Kevin.

"I want to be on my own Amanda. Thats how its been so far and thats how i wanted it to continue. I dont want anyone to bother us".

"You cant do that" shawn retorted.

"I came back all this way to get both of you. If you have already made your mind, i cant help it but i will definitely take my kid with me. He doesn't deserve to live in this dreadful place when so much awaits him back home".

"How dare you snatch my son away from me?". I yelled.

"Shawn, stop being so rude, give   Emily time to think, I'm pretty sure she'll figure it out". Amanda said.

" Em you know its not possible to take care of a child on your own when your barely 18. You need financial and mental support and we and provide you with that".

"I got all of that here ,Shawn, in this place which you think is dreadful,so no thanks for your help. Just pack your bags and leave me the hell alone". I screamed.

"I will fight against you and take my son, legally". He threatened.

Panic hit me like never before, my worst nightmares were coming true, my son not being with me, thats never going to happen. I need to fight back with all i got, i cannot show anyone my insecurities.

And that's when my phone began to ring. I wiped my tears and answered the call

" Hello MC"

"Emily , hurry up .... Em .. Kevin ..kevi"she was crying.

"What is it?MC ,is Kevin all right??"

" Mr Clarke took him to the woods.. He said he wants revenge...he said he wont keep the child alive...Em im sorry...em do something..."

I dropped the phone, my heart was pounding crazy. OH MY GOD,My son, what if something happens to him? Shit. I shouldn't have left him with MC in the first place. I need to find him, before its too late.

"What happened Em ? Is everything all right? Who is Kevin?"  Amanda asked.

"My son, hes lost in the woods, I need to find him" I blurted out.

Before they could question me any further, I ran from there like a crazy person, I must find my son first and then ill deal with the rest. Kevin dont worry,mama will find you.
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