Dear Alyssa✉

#fifty-three

  "I'm sorry," Peri said to Vinston. 

He shook his head.  

"Don't worry about it."

He smiled gingerly at her, and she returned the gesture.

Harriet, who had been watching me, suddenly spoke.

"I think you should at least listen to him once, Aly."

I shot Leonardo the filthiest glare I could muster but he stared me down and eventually I growled and clenched my teeth.

"Fine. You have until that door opens." I jerked my head towards the head's door and glared stonily at Vinston, who took a deep breath and started to speak.

"In the summer between Year Eight and Nine, after Maria had left - and I swear I thought she had just moved or something, I didn't know anything about what you told me when we were texting - I grew up a bit, realised I was being an immature moron, and a bit of a dιck-"

"A lot of a dιck," I cut in. Everyone glared at me.

"Fine, a lot of a dιck. I stopped fυcking around and being so shιtty to everyone. You didn't notice any of this, of course, because you hated me. You had made up your mind about me. At that point, I didn't really care. In fact, I probably agreed with you. 

"Then Dad and Annamaria got married, and I got stuck trailing around the twins every half-term. You were there most of the time, alternately scowling at me and pretending I didn't exist, occasionally threatening bodily harm or actually carrying out said threats. Not much new there, except an increase in the time we had to spend in close proximity to each other. Only it let me see what you were really like, when you weren't building forts around you so fast to fire cannons from the parapets. It let me see that not only did you use the forts for attacking advantage, you used it to hide so much of yourself. 

"You are amazing. The amount of care that you have for everyone in this room (apart from me obviously), and Phyllis too, is crazy. You don't really care for yourself, even though you can stand up for yourself, and all the care is put onto the others. And you were funny, too. That was something I hadn't noticed before, even though your insults are usually witty and sometimes hilarious. Funny, and clever. Insanely clever. You don't think you are, sometimes, but you are. 

"So yeah, I got to know the real you, and for two years I've been moping around wondering what I felt for you. I decided during the summer holidays just, when I you spent nine days out of ten at our house, that I really liked you. The only problem was you still hated me. Now I didn't agree so much. I'd worked hard on changing and being a more decent human being, so I when you went off on me again like you normally did, I just got a bit annoyed, because how was I supposed to make you see that I wasn't actually Satan's hell-spawn when you were so stuck with the idea that I was.

"I got the idea from a book. I can't remember which one exactly, I didn't actually like it, but it gave me the idea to somehow force you to get to know the real me without you knowing - through text. I'll admit, it was a bit awkward when you started ranting to me about how much you hated me, and it was hard to keep it a secret, but I wouldn't take it back."

I swallowed thickly, staring unseeingly at the ground in front of me. I tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear and chewed on the inside of my lip, trying to process everything Vinston had just said. I couldn't look at any of the others, especially not Vinston, so I kept my gaze trained on the ground. 

My focus narrowed until it was just me and the spot on the floor. Nothing else existed. The silence in the room grew until I wasn't in the room anymore. I was in the little spot on the floor.

'He's not a complete αrse.'

'Yeah but he's not far off.'

'Alyssa, don't be such a fυcking moron, he's using you...for...something. I don't know.'

'Exactly. You don't know. What if he isn't?'

'Give him a chance.'

'I don't trust him.'

'Ugh, just say something. And not something  stupid.'

'Ugh, fine.'

I blinked rapidly a couple of times as I came back to the rest of the room.

"Um." I kicked myself. I literally couldn't have said anything more stupid if I tried. "I - I'm sorry I didn't listen to you before. I should have been a bit more decent."

"Is that it?"

"I don't really know what to say," I admitted. Vinston just nodded, looking rather resigned, but Leonardo looked indignant.

"Seriously, Aly? Is that it? Vinston has done all of this, and you're just going to - to sit there?"

Harriet elbowed him in the ribs and Peri glared at him. Vinston didn't say anything, either in agreement or disagreement, and just at that moment, the door opened.

- - - - -

Don't kill me! Mum kicked me off the computer before I could publish this! But enjoy it.

Pix

x

P. S. Updates might change to Sunday because my schedule on Saturdays is changing.