Benumbed Me | Zayn Malik

May

_________________1 May_____

~

"Zayn!?"

I snap my head towards the voice. A blonde with pink tips stares at us. Her face has complete anger all over it. I get off the bed and stand up. She wears a leather skirt and a beige shirt plus some heels that make her look amazing. A model is what I'm seeing. Perfectness. Unbelievable it I might say. She looks familiar in some way. Do I know her?

"Perrie, I can explain everything." Zayn says sitting up in the hospital bed.

"Don't! You know very well what's was going to happen. Zayn why? Right after we just made up from the whole Australia. Shit. We can't do this again. I'm trying so hard for this, but you don't give a damn!"

"I do give a shit! If you didn't then why did I punch a wall for you? Then why did I miss promotions for the band to be with you? Chance doesn't mean anything. Your my everything Babe!"

Zayn gets up as far as he could from the heart monitor. Perrie, I think her name is that, doesn't move. I stand in the middle, staring at wall. I take everything in. I'm meaningless. Zayn said it himself. Slowly my heart sinks into my black whole of my stomach.

"Don't lie to me! This whore better be nothing. I want to trust you Zayn, but your not doing so well. Your actions are breaking us apart. "

"I didn't do anything. Chance started it."

The room came to a complete silence. My mouth dropped. My fault? I thought... Water drops start to blurry my vision. I am stupid. A really dumb whore who messed up once again. Did I really think a pop star with a gorgeous girl friend, would every like me? Yes I did think that. Did I think the cheeky texts and winking was Zayn dropping hints? Yes I did think that too. God, I'm an idiot.

I look at Zayn. He stares into my eyes like he is trying to apologize. Tears roll down my face and I can't control it. Anger starts to build in me. Zayn was using me. He need someone out if his famous life that knew nothing about him. A person who could talk to him and who could improve his ego. I was that person. Simple as that.

My hands from into fists. I stomp over to Zayn. My mouth was open, but no words came out. So the best thing I could do was raise my hand. I put all of my force into my fist and aimed for his little pop star face. I was close, but was stopped. His hand grabbed my arm before any damage was done.

"Chance..." Zayn mumbled out, but stopped and stared at my arm for some reason.

I look at his concerned eyes then my arm. The sleeve was down of my long navy blue sweater. Light, but visible scares appeared. One of the things that remind me of the past, my cuts. I try pulling my arm out of his grip. He was too strong and I was too weak. I fell to the floor, sobbing into my hands. Zayn slowly bent down and wrapped his arms around me. I try pushing him away, but nothing worked so I gave in to his efforts.

"Leave her alone Zayn. " Perrie says reminding me she is still in the room.

Zayn obeys and lets me go. I can feel him hover over me. I finally stand up and grab my purse off the floor. I walk out the door never looking back.

~

_________________3 May____

Emptiness consumes me once again. Days pass, work moves along, and Sugar (A/N Chance's cat by the way) isn't eating. Nothing has been said between anyone. I had little hope that Eleanor would at least text me. That hope is gone. El and Perrie are friends which means she is on Perrie's side. Which means we' re done.