I WANNA DIE I WANNA DIE I WANNA DIE I HATE MYSELF I HATE THIS ROTTING FLESH CORPSE THAT TWITCHES AND SCREAMS AND COLLAPSES TO THE FLOOR ABSOLUTELY FINISHED WITH THE WORLD NO ENERGY IN MY BONES NO ENERGY IN MY LUNGS IN MY HEART IN MY BRAIN
I WANNA PEEL MY SKIN AND BY DAY I TICK AND I SHIVER AND I BITE MY SKIN I PICK MY SKIN I SCRATCH AGAINST IT I WANT TO FREE MYSELF FROM THIS WORLD I WANT TO SOAR OUT OF BOUNDARIES AND FEEL THE COLD WIND RASP AGAINST MY FORM
BY NIGHT I FEAR ALL HOPE FOR HUMANITY I PRAY TO GOD I PRAY TO JESUS I PRAY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS FOR A PLEASE, GOD SAVE ME FROM THIS HELL I SEE FIGURES IN THE NIGHT WATCH ME I COVER MY EYES AND SOB TO MYSELF QUIETLY HOPING THEY CRAWL OFF AND REST BUT I CANT
SLEEP
AND IT IS ALL HELL I BANG MY HEAD AGAINST WALLS AND DOORS AND FIDGET AND CRACK MY KNUCKLES AND CHEW MY TONGUE I
REMEMBER AWFUL DEADBEAT THINGS AND AWFUL DEADBEAT PEOPLE I CAN'T REPRESS TRIGGERING MEMORIES AND THEREFORE HAVE THE BLOODLUST OF A LION I WANT TO TEAR THROUGH FLESH AND LAP UP BLOOD, FEEL THE WARMTH OF IT AGAINST MY WEEPING FACE AND BURY MYSELF DEEP WITHIN SOPPING WET MEAT I WANT TO CLENCH MY FISTS IN SKIN AND RUB MY THUMBS IN CIRCLES OF BONES AND
CRY
I CANNOT FEEL ANYTHING AND I WONDER. I WONDER AND I CONSTANTLY WONDER AND I REGRET AND I JUST CAN NOT FEEL THERE IS A TIME WHERE GODS AND ANGELS SING AND THERE IS A TIME WHERE THE DEVIL LICKS HIS RED LIPS AND HUMS TO ME AND BECKONS ME FORTH TO DO DANGEROUS THINGS I
SCREAM
AND ITS ALL
ON
IMPULSE.
