Competition

Nine

Los Angeles had been just what I needed. The constant sun, warmth; the spas, the restaurants, the clothes and endless malls and stores, the countless meetings; and a few scheduled book signings.

Flying out of the dreamland and back to reality was harsh. I wasn't ready and I didn't know how to confront the idea of Howard and his wife and family. These constant thoughts swam around my head like sharks circling their prey.

When I touched down at Heathrow some days later, I was greeted by David and his grin.

'How was it?' he asked after finally letting me go. 'You look a little tanned.'

'Ha,' I laughed. 'I wasn't gone for that long.'

'So fill me in,' he said taking my bag and we walked out of the airport together, and to his car which was waiting for us in the car park. 'What fun and exciting things did you get up to over there?'

'I was in a bunch of meetings,' I replied. 'I did a bit of shopping and tried relaxing.'

David nodded as he put my bag into the back of the car then climbed in. I hadn't told him yet.

'It was a good trip.'

'That's good,' David replied starting his engine. 'What are we doing tonight? Or do you have other plans.'

'No plans,' I replied. 'Do you want to stay in or go out?'

'We can stay in,' David replied. 'I'll probably be round quite early today because not much is really happening. You chose a good day to come home.'

'I wasn't really sure I wanted to come home,' I replied. 'The lines got a little blurred before I left.'

'How so?'

I shook my head unsure of what to say. 'I'm not sure if I should...'

'Priscilla,' David said looking at me for a long moment. 'You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I'm not going to force you to tell me.'

'Howard's married,' I said looking at David. 'He's got a family.'

David didn't say anything.

'I don't want to be responsible for breaking up a family,' I said. My eyes were glued to David's; somehow I felt much safer and at ease looking into his brown eyes than anywhere else. 'I love him David.'

David looked at me and sighed sympathetically. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

I could feel a rock push its way up my throat and my eyes were feeling heavier with welling tears. I tried wiping my face, but the tears were replaced by fresh eager ones.

David stopped the car and parked it. He reached his arms across and gave me a big long hug. I felt his heart and heard his breathing. His fuzzy jumper warmed my cheeks and made my hair go a little static.

'Oh Priscilla,' he consoled. 'Priscilla.'

I knew he didn't know what to say, and I couldn't blame him. I didn't know what to think either. How had things managed to get so complicated so quickly? How had this happened? I wish I was a child again.

We stayed embraced for a long while, before David started the engine and we drove back to my apartment in a muffled silence.

David carried my bags into the kitchen and started loading the washing machine. I went to the living room and sank into my sofa and pulled a checked Pittington Jack Wills blanket up to my chest.

David came into the living room some time later with two mugs of coffee and placed them down on the coffee table in front of me. He sat down next to me and sighed before putting an arm around me. I fell into his chest and did nothing but surround myself with his scent and breath.