Chapter nine
I lay on my bed until it grows dark outside of my window. I've cried every possible tear my eyes could create. Why? Why would the doctor tell him a pack of lies? Why would he believe that? A knot grows in my chest, hurting more than my first childbirth. Am I losing Cato? I sit up and clench my fists. No!! I won't allow it!! It can't happen. We didn't win the Games to loose each other now.
I wipe the tears away from my face and reach for the phone beside my bed. I quickly pick it up and dial Anila's number. A small girlish voice answers after two rings. "Heo?" I smile thoguh my tears asking, "Myna baby?" I can hear her grin shine through her happy voice as she squeals, "Mommy!!!!" I hear another voice in the background. Though I can't make out the words, I recognise the tone. Chase squeals out in excitement, I hear the phone drop, and a small struggle between the twins over it. Finally there is silence so I call out, "Hello? Anyone there?" Somebody must have heard me because I hear Cato's mom answer the phone. "Hello Clove, it's Anila." I grin. Her voice sounds exhausted. I ask her, "How's it going Anila?"
She sighs softly. "I'd half forgotton what it's like to raise a child." I giggle softly as she continues. "Myna is an absolute angel, such a sweet heart. But your Chase is exactly like Cato was at his age." At the sound of his name my voice catches in my throat. Cato... Anila's voice calls out again asking, "How is Cato by the way? I haven't spoken to him since the funeral." She's waiting but I can't speak. I start crying again and embarassingly, its louder this time. Anila hears my sobs and her voice beomes full of concern. "Clove? Are you alright? Is he alright?!" I gulp down my sobs and say "Oh Anila. I'm lost. He's walking away from me and I don't understand why." and I spill out the story. How he was stiff on the last leg of the train ride whenever I tried to show any romantic affection to him. How he was upset and unreadable during the interview. And finally his raging and tearful outburst in our room. "And he's gone.. he's gone now and I don't know where he is. Anila what if he doesn't come back?" I start sobbing again, one hand on my un-born baby and the other on the phone. Her voice is calm and soothing. "Now Clove. Cato is your husband so he will honor the commitment he made. Remember? You both promised to be loyal to each other until the end of your lives. So even though," She's hesitant I can tell. "Even though you may have lain with another man, he will still honor his part of the agreement." Before she says anymore, I speak out. I have to tell her the truth. "But I haven't slept with anyone else. Never ever and I never ever will. The baby is Cato's. I know that without a shadow of a doubt." There seems to be hesitating relief in her voice, "Well, if you swear Clove." I say with as much truthful force as I can muster, "I swear." I hope she believes me. She has to. Anila speaks again, "Okay Clove, I believe you." At least somebody does. A small weight is lifted off of my shoulders as she continues, "Well, I'm going to hand the phone back to the twins. They're restless to speak to you." I grin, waiting to hear their cheerful voices again, knowing it will be my therapy right now.
"Hi mommy!" Their sweet innocent voices ring out at the same time. I grin, I miss them both so much. "Hi babies!" I call out, "Are you having fun?" Myna is silent. I grin as I realize she's probably nodding. "And you Chase?" I ask. He's grinning, his happy voice betrays it as he says, "Yes! Granmama likes snakes mommy!"
"Oh And how do you know that?" I ask, probably knowing the answer.
"Cause when she found one in her bed she didn't scream like you did." I laugh. I'd forgotten completely about that incident. He continues, "But she hates bug ugly spiders." Myna giggles along with her brother.
Oh no, I really hope they didn't put them into Anila's shoes like they did with the last babysitter. But for some reason I don't ask. Instead I say, "Tell Grandmama I said to bring you to the Capital for a visit okay?" They giggle in excitement before Anila calls out to the kids, saying something I can't make out. Myna tells me, "Bye mommy. We have to bedtime."
Chase giggles in the background. Anila is tickling him. You can tell by the way he gasps for breath between giggles, the way he always does when he is being tickled. Myna calls out "Love you mommy." Before I hear another outburst of giggles and the line goes dead. I set the phone down gently and lay back on the bed, waiting for sleep to come.
