Every Ending Is A New Beginning

Taking Risks To Be Found

I left the next morning just the same as before. I hadn't talked to Josh. I hadn't really talked to Cara. I hadn't talked to anyone. All I knew was that I was going I find my birth parents. I knew I was going to leave for England that day. I could feel it. Some might call it intuition, others might say it was just in my head. I called it my gut instinct. The only problem was that sometimes my gut was wrong.

I marched into Mr. Readers office and sat down in the chair. He sighed in exasperation.

"The sooner you give me the information, the sooner I'll be out of your office." I reminded him.

"Right." He sighed again.

"Geoff Payne, and Karen Payne. They're your parents. They live in Wolverhampton at the moment. You have three siblings Ruth, Nicole, and Liam."

I felt my face light up. I wanted to scream and cry and laugh and maybe even hug him. Strong emotions make you act irrationally.

They're not dead.

I have siblings.

Holy crap, I have a brother.

I have a brother.

I began asking questions. "How old are they? What do they look like? Where's Wolverhampton? Wh-"

"One question at a time, Ms. Jessica."

"Right, sorry."

He rubbed his forehead. "I'm not sure how old any of them are. I didn't bother to look into that. I don't have photos. If I did I would show them to you. Wolverhampton is about a 30 minute drive from Birmingham."

There was a silence as I took everything in.

"Now," Mr. Reader paused, "as much as we both annoy each other, I really do wish you the best." He took a plane ticket out of the yellow folder and pushed it across the table. "First class. All paid for. And a taxi should be waiting for you when you arrive. It'll take you home. To your real home."

Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy after all. "You annoy me, too, Mr. Reader."

He smiled. "Your flight is at 6:30 tomorrow morning. It's the earliest flight. I figured you'd want to get out as soon an possible."

He stood up and handed me the folder. I took it eagerly and grabbed the tickets off the table. He was walking towards the office door when I hugged him.

"Thank you... For helping me." I managed to say.

I didn't wait for him to say anything back. I left, folder in hand, smile on my face.

I walked back to the house, more peppy than usual. Josh nodded towards me when I walked in, and I smiled back.

I went to my room and began putting things away. I pulled my suitcase out from under my bed and opened it. I began putting taking my clothing out of the dresser and putting it inside. I picked up some socks that were scattered across the floor, as well as shoes. I kept out a sweatshirt, jeans, my mint Vans, and my backpack. I got my small makeup bag, and my other toiletries, and put them away. Inside my backpack, I put my phone, a pair of fluffy socks, a hat, gloves, lipgloss, my stuffed koala, a book, and some gum in my backpack. Only the essentials.

I heard the dinner bell ring, but I didn't go down. I was too excited to eat. I sorted my clothes by color until I fell asleep.

I woke up at 3:0, hoping that I would be able to get dressed and make it to the train in thirty minutes. I pulled on my sweatshirt and jeans and swung my backpack over my shoulder. I carried my suitcase and my shoes, wanting to make as little noise as possible. The wooden floor creaked quietly under my feet. It was a struggle getting down the stairs. I set my suitcase down a little too loudly, and I thought the entire population of America could hear me. Everything is louder when you're trying to be quiet. As I reached the bottom if the stairs, I took some money out of my backpack along with a pre-written note.

I walked into the room at the bottom of the stairs. I peeked into the dark room before tiptoeing in. I placed the note and the money on the dresser at the side of the room.

Josh,

You need the money. I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do. I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to say goodbye. I can't say I'll find what I'm looking for, or that I'll be happy when I find it, but I hope I am. I do know that I can't stay. Give Cara a hug for me. :)

Best wishes.

-Jessica

I took one last glance at the boys face, the first face of hope I'd seen in years, and I left. As soon as I left the house I slipped my shoes on, put down my suitcase, and began rolling it down the sidewalk.

And something came into mind. I was lost. I had been lost my entire life, wether it was evident or not. I may have been found for short periods of time, by my friends, my sister, by Josh. But I always seemed to wander away and get lost again. And now, here I was, about to be found for the last time. To be found, and kept and not forgotten. Or so I hoped.

There's a risk that they might not want me, that they might not care, but that's a risk I'm willing to take. Because if there is no risk, there is no reward.

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