Mental Activity

Birthday, Chap 5

I wake up on the padded white floor. I kept having bad dreams again. I pick myself up to notice a line of red on the floor, my cheek is bleeding due to a cut I got in my dream. It hurts but I try to ignore it. It's my birthday today and I'm turning 14. I have to quit crying about every injury I get. All the doctors try to tell me "The monsters aren't real." but does it really matter? They can hurt me, that's all anyone is ever afraid of. I think by saying that they're just trying to comfort themselves. I just lie here waiting, today is my birthday. I suspect things will happen, including my arms getting free. I lay here for an hour then Karen and another doctor come in with a cart. "Oh you got a cut on your cheek, let me take care of that." She takes out some tissues and wets them with this fluid she usually puts on my cuts. It stings but I've gotten used to it, I still wince though. "Sooo are you excited for when your arms get free?" I want my arms out now but I don't want to seem greedy. "Since yesterday we figured that if you want to look around more we could get you something to help. We got you a shopping cart that you could sit in and you could get pushed around in it and see places often." I am not sure what a shopping cart is but the cart seems nice. "Am I going in the cart today?" Karen stands up grinning, "We decided since you seem stable enough, we can go outside today and we can bring you to a store to pick things out for your cart." I'm going in public? How long? What are people gonna say? "When do I go?" The other doctor brings in a rolly table thing in with foods. "When you get done your food we can go." She starts feeding me. Its usually apple sauce & a sandwich along with some juice. It's about an hour then I get helped up. "How are we gonna get there?" Karen holds her keys, I never saw those before though. "We'll take my car." She helps me up then we start walking. We go through the front door of the hospital place. This area is so big, just a black rocky floor with yellow stripes and big patches of grass along with cars. We keep walking up to a car, it seems nice. She opens the door into the passenger seat and helps me in. She has pictures around, there are 2 pictures I think of what people call a "Cat" and a "Dog" The cat is black, has nice short hair and very smooth looking. The dog is white and brown, with sort of shaggy fur and is a bit big. Karen gets in the drivers seat. "I have your cart in the back. Ill put you in it when we park at the store. I can probably take you to wal-mart considering all the other stuff they tolerate in their store." The car starts moving and before I know it we're on the road next to a few other cars. We're going really fast, faster than I went in that other cart Dr. Pepper was pushing. I continue to look out the window. I'm sitting cross legged, there are 2 other straps on me that I don't see why I need. "James actually recommended a stroller for you. A cart seems more creative though, I've seen people make little forts out of carts. I figure it could be something fun for you to do. Maybe I can get you some paddles so you can push yourself along in the cart yourself, If they let you in the halls." I think they should, I cant hurt anyone. "Do you think they will? I was yesterday and wasn't much of a problem. I made friends with Dr. Pepper." Karen looks around, down a small cliff is a bunch of stores and things, A lot of pretty lights. "I can probably see if you can. You're getting better." We drive down the steepness and she finds a parking space then we stop. "Ill get your cart from the back, I'll be right back." She gets out of the car and goes to the back. I just sit waiting, looking around out the window. There are people walking around. In and out of stores. They're wearing really nice looking things. I hear Karen pushing my cart to my door as she opens it. "Here you go, gotta figure out how to get you in though... Maybe I can buy a little door for the front or side of it. Ill pick you up for now." I am pretty small, considering my diet too it only makes sense I am very skinny and light.
She picks me up sort of like how people hold others in their arms, basically cradling me. She sets me into the cart gently then I sit cross legged looking out the square holes of the hard plastic and metal cart. The plastic is a nice color, I think it's red. Karen starts pushing the cart, it's kind of bumpy, makes a bit of rattling noises but I ignore it. The inside of this store looks so nice, There's a lot of beeping and booping noises and a lot of talking. The ground is much smoother now so I'm not being rattled around. Karen looks down at me and smiles, "Should we get you a blanket for inside? It probably feels a bit rough in there." The only blanket I know about is the one in my room. It's pretty thin too so I don't think a blanket would help. Karen keeps pushing the cart, I notice a few people glancing at me. Some people stare, I'm not sure if it's good or bad. We go down a few isles and find a bunch of pillows and blankets, these look a lot more comfortable than what I have in my room. I point out a large puffy looking blanket. She picks it up, "You want this over you or you wanna sit on it? Or we can get two and do both?" Two is probably best, and most comfortable. I nod, "Both." She undoes the pack thing pulling out the blanket, she picks me up out of the cart for a bit so she can put the blanket in and settle it down. The floor is cold, I only ever wear white socks, white sweatpants, and this straight jacket, I was never really introduced to 'shoes'. Karen gets done with the blanket. "The bottom still seems a bit hard. Wanna get a few pillows?" I nod and look around, she pushes the cart down the isle into the pillow area. I look at a really cushy looking one, its big and fat and puffy. "Can we get that one?" Karen picks it up "how many? We could probably get two. One for the floor and one for the back?". I nod, the pillows look soft. " Wanna get a pillow case for them so they can have a nice design on it and stuff? They make the pillows a lot more comfortable. I see a few pillow cases on shelves. "Those?" Karen looks at them, I see a blue one with black circles. They call it 'neon or cyan blue' it looks pretty af y'know. "Dis one." I cant touch or point to it so I put my head against the packet. She pulls it out then puts it around the pillows. I just watch. "Are we allowed to open these things in the store?". Karen shrugs, "We're gonna buy the stuff anyways, and they'd probably understand." She puts the pillow case on the pillows putting them into place "You wanna get in now?" I nod and she lifts me in. It's really comfortable, I sit back cross legged, this is the most comfortable I've been basically ever. Karen puts the blanket over me, I can see halfway out the cart, some of the blanket actually on me. I look around while karen pushes the cart. "I should get a doggy door for the cart so you can crawl in. She stops at a home maintenance area looking around. I see across the isle a small basket, there's a stuffed bunny that keeps attracting me. I fucking love that cute shit. I look out the squares of the cart. If my hands were free I'd try to grab it, There's even a cat. Karen comes back with a smallish door looking thing, "You want something?" I look to the bunny and the cat. She puts them in the cart, "Here." I sit next to them, nothing much I can actually do. Karen starts pushing the cart again with the door thing in the small seat area of the cart. "I think that's about it, ready to go?" I don't want to go back but there's nothing else to do. "I guess yeah..." She pushes the cart to one of the checkout isles. People stare, but I don't care much. Karen pays for the items then starts pushing. We get to her car again, she packs all the stuff into her trunk, leaving a blanket thing around me then picks me up through that. Once everything's done she starts driving, I look out the window boredly. Karen stops next to some small building, "I'm sort of hungry, do you want anything from here? There are nuggets and burgers and stuff." I learned a bit about those things, "Maybe nuggets, am I allowed to eat these things?" Karen shrugs. "Probably not, but it's your birthday." She starts to order, "Do you want a drink?" I heard doctor pepper was a drink, I should try it. "Dr. Pepper?" She snickers, "You are really into that aren't you." She finishes the order and we get our stuff. She has to drive and I cant feed myself, so we just wait to get to the hospital. When we go in, this'll be the 1st time I ever feed myself.