Changing Me

Chapter 2

As I stumbled into the small attic, I felt as if my heart was pounding so hard that Dad would be able to hear it and work out were I was hiding. 

'OMG!' I screamed to god silently, 'Please just help me calm down! I swear i'll be a better person from now on!'

I heard the hurried footsteps that were chasing after me finally turn away, to the opposite direction. I let out a muffled sigh of relief before examining my surroundings.

A couple of tightly sealed boxes were piled over each other, and what seemed to be a baby pushchair was situated next to them. The rest of the tiny room was held empty, almost as if it had been used to store something before but now had disappeared.

Knowing that I would probably have to spend the night here, maybe even a couple until Dad left the house again, filled me with an ongoing grief.

I wondered what Mum would do if she saw what had happened after she left us, how different Dad and I had became. Her sudden murder had caused us both to be torn up inside, both blaming ourselves, and this resulted in us growing apart in such a way that I had never imagined.

If anyone who knew us from my childhood was to see us now, they would never believe that we were the same people we had once been.

As a child and even in my early teens, Dad and I had a bond that no other normal child and parent had, which is why this distant relationship that we currently held towards each other pained me more than ever.

My first day at Talent High had to be possibly from amongst my worst. Nobody seemed to want to be around the depressed, weird dressed girl AKA me.

I had been gossiped about, laughed at and ridiculed in regards to. The teachers made the rumours more torturous by treating me like a fragile, baby girl and throwing pitiful glances at me practically every second, thinking that it would somehow make things okay.

Tomorrow would be no better than today and I knew that without a doubt. Dad was home, meaning I would just about grab my toothbrush and if I got lucky, make it to the loo before he noticed me and then- I didn't want to think about what would happen next. 

With nothing else to do, I lay back on the hard, uncomfortable ground and made a pillow using my school blazer, preparing to sleep away my worries and stress.

I closed my eyes and my mind was flooded with horrifying images of my mother's last scream, last cry for help as she lay hopelessly on the ground, fighting to survive.

The cruel, evil men still didn't stop, even after all our begging and pleading. I had been pushed against the brick hard wall and was unable to do anything to change the fact that they were about to snatch away my mother's life so unjustly. 

Soon after I had heard a loud shot cut through the sombre silence, the place had been suddenly flooded by bright lights and a shrill siren.

I had been unleashed from the iron-clad grip I was trapped in, and dropped to the floor as if I weighed nothing at all. I had crept over to have a glance at my mum, to assure myself that she was okay; the sight that met my eyes had filled me with dread.

It was such a scary image that I hoped nobody, young or old, would ever have to face.

My beloved mother lay on the ground, her white blouse covered in blood and her mouth open in an ongoing, soundless scream.

I jerked up from my lying position, shaken up from my thoughts. ‘This type of thinking would have to be stopped if I wanted to be classed as normal and humane,’ I said to myself.

I had to leave my painful past and focus on the present. Tomorrow would be a new day and I would try my best to socialize more in school and make some friends if I could. It would be hard, I knew that for sure, especially since everyone had already gotten the wrong image of me but I could certainly put some effort into it and change these views.

‘Nothing is impossible,’ I whispered as I forced myself to sleep.

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