Water Runs Dry | ON HOLD

VII | Song Cry

VII | Song Cry
|°| I can't hold back these tears, let me cry, they say a man ain't supposed to cry, so I'ma let the song cry, I'ma let my soul cry through these words I need to try to free my mind, sometimes I need to cry just to ease my hurt, but when I let the song cry, hope you don't think I still won't ride for mine, every rose needs the rain sometimes, but know that you can dry your eyes this time, let the song cry |°|

Quentin Rashaad Harris POV

"No. I'm not busy today. They're staying home with me, Mama.—I'm not going to argue with you.— My word still stands. I'll come over, but I'm not leaving them.—No! I'm not like you, I can't be. I gotta go!" I heard her argue.
"Kandy Kane, what's wrong?", I asked her.
"My momma wants the boys, but I made a promise four, almost five, years ago. That I would never leave my children with my mother. It was the day I moved out. My mother and I had argued. She said something about ending up like her."
"I thought you and Naomi was close?"
"I don't even know. Now that I'm older, I realize we never really talked about what she did to me. That wasn't the first time she put me out."
"Baby, you telling me Langston let her put you out twice?"
"My dad never knew. The lie she told the first time was I went to stay with my Auntie and that time I'm guessing was that I was spending the rest of the summer with Ashlee. We would stay with each other for weeks. So once I got my own in the Autumn, college housing."
"But why?", I questioned. Lia and Naomi seemed like they had a perfect relationship.
"I wouldn't babysit. I wanted to go and spend my summer, before college came back, chilling with y'all. At that time it was just Jai and MeMe. I probably was being disrespectful or something. You think I was wrong for refusing to babysit?"
I shook my head. I couldn't believe it. Yet if that never happened we probably wouldn't be married or have kids or even fuck with each other anymore.
"Nah, you were 17. They weren't your children, I mean you love them like they are, but in reality they're only your niece and nephews. It wasn't your job to raise them, didn't Kahli give the kids to Naomi and Langston? You perfect in each and every way. Your mind, your personality, your heart, I swear. I'd probably have several Fat-Man's and Jelly's out here if it wasn't for you. Ain't shit topping you baby!"
"I don't think so, Q, I feel like I'm failing. I can't work, I can't help you with bills or buy things! I'm scared that the boys will hate me, because I get so damn frightened when I'm alone with them sometimes. I feel like I'm not a good wife because I always start arguments with you. I'm not a good sister, I keep pushing Kahli towards the streets and drugs. It's my fault my niece and nephews don't have a mother. It's even my fault that my mother doesn't love me like a mother should!", cradling her in my arms and pulling her into my lap and chest. I watched Lia, my wife, strong façade shatter. Although the strong and powerful women was still there, the woman who's pain and depression ate at her thoughts, had finally emerged.
"It's alright. We all gotta let it all go sometimes. Stop holding it in, baby. We are one, my pain is yours, just as yours is mine. I love you ma.", I leaned in to capture her lips. I felt her smile in this kiss. Before the kiss got heated we heard the faint baby cries.

Kahli Pharrah Williams POV 

"Giles! Are you busy right now?", I asked when I spotted him coming through the door. I was slightly coming down from yet another high and I had some news to tell him.
"What?", he gruffed out. I started scratching and feeling anxious. I was coming down and fast. "Umm... I need a-another fix and I'm p-pr-pregnant."
"I can help you with one of those. The other is a personal problem."
"G-Giles... I think it's your baby. I mean y-you remember the other week," I said.
"Girl, get the fuck away from me with that shit. You fucked several other johns."
"B-but I didn't go raw with them only you baby, I swear.", I felt his large calloused hand come in contact with my face. "Yo, why you always coming to me with this shit? This the second time you came to me with this baby shit. It ain't my fucking problem!"
I felt punches coming to my face. Instantly, I started begging for him to stop.
"No baby! I'm sorry, lemme make it up to you. Please!"
"Get up! Go clean yourself up, be ready in 20 minutes. When you come back I might have something for your stupid ass."
I scrambled up and when down the dirty hallway of the project apartment I shared with him and Ashlee.
I found her laid out, drunk or high, with semen covering her face. I slipped into the tiny restroom and looked at myself. My vibrant skin was back pale, my teeth were chipped, my skin was blemished with needle scars and burns. The work Liana had did was long gone, yet for some reason, I never felt prettier. Being clean, was fun for awhile, but there was no thrills, no excitement. My kids were to much of a shackle, they didn't listen anyway. And if this one made it, it would be with the rest.

Quickly washing up I raced back to Giles to see what he had for me. Looking into the dirty living room, my eyes met with the lines of cocaine, the needles of heroin, the bags of crack. I slowly walked into see Giles and Ashlee waiting on me.
"Strip!", was the only thing he said and both Ashlee and I obeyed.
And in no time, the three of us found ourselves on the floor; sweaty, dirty, and high off our asses.
🌯🌯🌯🌯🌯🌯🌯🌯🌯🌯

I Ain't Shxt😔😩, YET😂😘!

~Smiley😊 (Jan 17, 2016)