Learning How to Live Life

Chapter 2

My family are the most important people in the world. If anything happened to them, I don't know how I would handle that. The most important person of all of them is my dad. I love him to the moon and back. I would say he is the wiser man in earth. No joke.

He notices that I have a lot of struggle to like how how I look. That I'm always making sure to look good.

"What's the point of trying so hard if you're not going to be comfortable?" He once said in one of our conversations.

"Well because girls always want to look good no matter what." I answered back.

"But are you comfortable?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" I perfectly knew what he meant. I was just trying to avoid it as much as possible.

"Are you comfortable with the clothes you're wearing?"

"Well of course I am. Why would I wear it if I'm not comfortable in them?" I really was trying not to answer the question.

"To impress people. To be like everyone else. You need to start being you. Stop trying to impress them. They don't care how you feel. If you look ugly, they don't care. If you look good, they don't care. They never care. Stop trying to look good for them. Be happy. Be free. Don't get locked in a world where all you care is what people think of you. That'll ruin your whole life. Trust me."

After that, I couldn't look at him. I couldn't say anything back because everything is true. I take so much time to dress decent just for strangers. I have this thing that I don't even care if I think I look good.

That's the problem with this generation. Everyone is fake because all they care is about what everyone says about them.

For example, all the famous people. They wouldn't ware cheap clothes because they know a bunch of people are going to to judge them. They're going to start saying crap about them. That's ejy they don't do it. And I'm used to caring about others that I don't even pay attention to me.

The whole day after that conversation with my dad, I was upset. I mean why wouldn't I? Someone had just told me something that I was denying to myself. I was denying that I wanted to satisfy people I didn't even knew.

***

I've always wanted to be a model. Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I'll pretend I'm having s photoshoot in the rain. But sometimes I stop and think that is pointless because I could never become one.

I would tell myself I'm not worthy of being something big such as being a model. I'd beat myself up for not being beautiful, for not being skinny, for not having luscious skin, even though I don't have pimples at all.

One day me and my best friend were taking a walk together. We were talking about our future. Basically talking about what we wanted to be when we grew up.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"A Chief." She answered.

"Really? I didn't know that." We became silent once again.

After a while, this time she broke the silence asking, "What about you? What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Hmm, I don't know. I want to be a lot of thins. I want to be a photographer, actress, author, and possibly a model." I answered. At first I expected her to laugh out loud, but she didn't.

"You'd be a perfect model." She said. She must me blind because I could never see myself in the future as a model. I still wanted to be one because I thought it could be enjoyable.

"You're just saying that because you're my best friend."

"No I'm not. You're beautiful. You'd make such a perfect model. You'd be a role model to other girls."

"No I wouldn't. I don't want to make a fool out of myself. I'm just going to stick with photography." I wanted to end this conversation ASAP.

"Why would you make a fool out of yourself? You are just going to to what you want. No one can judge for that." She was right. But nothing will change my mind.

"I regret starting this conversation now. Can we please change it?" I asked.

"No we can't. Tell me why do you think you wouldn't be a perfect model?" She was obviously getting irritated.

"Kim please drop it."

"No until you tell me why? Why can't you just see that you're beautiful? Why?" She was basically yelling now.

"Kim I don't have time for this so just drop it!" I was getting angry because she had no right to get angry at me. She knew I had problems loving myself and yet she starts this fight for no reason.

"Fine! I don't have time to for this either. I'm not going to argue with you about thus shit. You obviously need help." With she walked away from me.

"Are you serious right now!" I yelled after her throwing my hands in the air.

That was one of the stupidest fight we ever had. We almost never fight but when we, it's for a good reason but this reason was dumb. And I ended up apologising for not liking myself.

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Hey guys its me again! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I tried very hard to make it better than that first one. It's still short I know but the chapters will grow as the I keep writing them.

Don't forget to leave a vote!

Xoxo-Bizzleflyy