Learning How to Live Life

Chapter 3

God can do many things to or with you. He can teach you many lessons that can be very painful. They're the lessons that don't expect. I've learned that from experience. He has thought me so many things. I've cried from them many times. Sometimes I don't understand why they have to be so painful. They struck you right in the heart.

I've also learned not to take things for granted. Everything that is given to you is for a reason. Don't complain about anything, don't say 'I hate this!' Or 'I don't want this!' because once you don't have it anymore you'll wish you still did. You're going to wish you had never complained about it. Trust me, it happens, and it hurts. It hurts a lot.

Life can be very hard and unfair. Sometimes you think to yourself what have you done to deserve this. Its hard and all you can do about it is, deal with it. That's the only choice you have. To learn how to make it at your benefit. Then you'll know what to do next time it happens again.

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My whole life I've been too nice. Not the nice you help people out and talk sweet to others. The nice where you cross the line and let people take advantage you. The nice where they know you'll do anything for them because if you don't then you'll feel awful for not "helping" them.

I've let people step over me and let do whatever they want with me. If they insult them I'll just laugh to make them think it was okay. Then they'll do it again. They know I'm okay with them doing whatever they do because they think it's no problem with me. I've tried so hard to say no. To finally speak up and say no, I'm not okay with this. I'm not doing this.

Basically if a teacher says that I'm getting detention for no reason, I don't do anything and just say 'okay'. I feel if I argue with them, I'll get in trouble. It's like not knowing what freedom of speech is. Why? I don't know. I wish I did but sadly I don't.

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    Days had passed and many things have happened. One of them is realizing that I have no friends at all. No, literally. I only hang out with one person and that is the "best friend" I mentioned earlier. The reason why I quoted best friend is because we're not. At least that's the way I feel.

    Have you had a best friend that you spend with 24/7? That friend that you talk hours on the phone, talking about things that happened at school, things like that? That friend that you hang out out school all the time and take pictures and just that perfect best friend that you just love so much? We'll guess what I don't have one. And that's why I say "best friend"

    She's the totally opposite of a best friend that everyone, even me is looking for. She doesn't want to take pictures. We hang out once a year, and that's only on summer vacation. We don't go to each other's houses. We only hang in school. If we text I'm always the one starting the conversation. If I don't, then we could spend months without talking to each other out of school. She alway thinks she's right. She cannot accept that she is wrong and I end up saying she's right. There's many more reasons but I can't write them down because I'd had to write a whole book on it.

    Life is hard. Very hard actually. I've learned many things from it. For example, one of them is that it is really hard to find a true best friend. I had finally opened my eyes. That that one friend that I thought was my best friend isn't. I mean it's been obvious all along, but I was too blind to see it. She isn't real. She's just a school partner. I mean we've been friends seine elementary school but that doesn't mean we are best friends. We've been going to the same school since kinder garden but that doesn't mean anything.
And I've always thought we were BFFs but we are not.

    Also I make her look like she is the only person in school. And it's a funny thing because she is totally not. I've been stupid for doing that all my life. There are hundreds of people at school and I'm only friends with one person. How sad is that? How sad is my life?

    But the time will come. The time that one person I've been looking for comes in my life. Not a boyfriend but a best friend that is called my sister. My ride or die. My partner in crime.

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Update!! It took about a month to write this. I know I know big deal.

Thank you for reading!

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