I'm afraid

Hey this is my second story that I write. I hope you like it. When you like it please vote and maybe leave a comment with your opinion. I love everyone who reads my book. xxxx

°Debby°

Hey my name is Johanna, unfortunately I have no surname.

The children in the orphanage are calling me Jo.

I live here now 11 years and already got adopted three times but I came always back here to the orphanage.

I am sitting here in my room right now, actually I would have to share with another girl but nobody likes me.

I got up and looked in the mirror wich is in the room.

My red hair is falling in locks.

I have brown eyes but would rather have blue eyes.

You can't have everything..

"Johanna come it gives lunch" Miss Black shouted.

I took my jacket and went downstairs to get lunch.

The other children were already sat on theyr usual places and they left no space for me.

Like always.

I took my plate on wich was a piece of bread with butte lay and went to the front garden from the orphanage.

I sat down on the steps before the door and started to eat my bread.

We only got bread with butter for breakfast, lunch and dinner because the orphanage doesn't have enought money for a real meal.

I only weight 25 kg, I am only 1,50 m tall and I am 11 years old.

I hope that when I get adopted again that it would be a nice family.

Not like the other times.

I was adopted three times and in the first two families i was beaten and kicked.

The third and last family was the worst, because every time the woman was not there the man raped me and that was i think every second day and the whole weekend.

That's the reason I am cutting and writing songs.

Whenever I came back to the orphanage, I told Miss Black what the families did to me and with me and she understood it and took me in.

I've just finished my bread and took my plate to the kitchen and washed it off.

Then I went into my room and took my notebook out and began to write a song.

(It is 'For The Love Of A Daughter' by Demi Lovato so please pretend it is from Johanna)

Four years old with my back to the door

All I could hear was the family war

Your selfish hands always expecting more

Am I your child or just a charity ward

You have a hollowed out heart

But it's heavy in your chest

I try so hard to fight it

But it's hopeless

Hopeless

You're hopeless

Oh father, Please father

I'd love to leave you alone

But I can't let you go

Oh father Please father

Put the bottle down

For the love of a daughter

Oh It's been five years

Since we've spoken last,

And you can't take back

What we never had

Oh, I can be manipulated

Only so many times

Before even I love you

Starts to sound like a lie

You have a hollowed out heart

But it's heavy in your chest

I try so hard to fight it

 But it's hopeless,

Hopeless

You're hopeless

Oh father Please father

I'd love to leave you alone

But I can't let you go

Oh father Please father

Put the bottle down

For the love of a daughter

Don't you remember

I'm your baby girl

How could you push me out of your world

Lie to your flesh and your blood

Put your hands on the ones that you swore you loved

Don't you remember

I'm your baby girl

How could you throw me right out of your world

So young when the pain had begun

Now forever afraid of being loved

Oh father Please father

I'd love to leave you alone

But I can't let you go

Oh father Please father

Put the bottle down

For the love of a daughter

For the love of a daughter

I finished quickly amazed.

I decided to go into the garden.

When I was there I sat on the grass and admired the nature.

It's a beautiful day.

The sun is shining.

The birds are chiriping.

And there are single clouds in the sky.

I lay down on my back and closed my eyes.

When I opened them again I was shaken by Miss Black.

"Hey little girl. You fell asleep" she said, helping me up from the ground.

I went into my room and lay down on the bed and fell asleep.