Ride to Nowhere

Chap. 5

(Sawyer's POV)

Veronica was acting as if I hadn't gone on a raid before. I could easily go and get all the supplies we need and more, alone.

There was no way in hell I would even consider letting a jackass like him work with me on a raid, with things as dangerous as zombies wandering around. I would be better off with a cardboard box protecting me than, him.

Even the thought of him completely revolts me. All he clearly is, is a crazy sex obsessed fuck boy who obviously used girls before in his past for pleasure. Now I don't want to know what he uses for his hormonal "needs". Excuse me while I go throw up.

I walked around the kitchen making lunch, trying to do anything but look at him. Looking at him would be acknowledging his existence, and I'm certainly not going to give him the small victory of that.

"Sawyer-come on you're being unreasonable." Alex whined next to me.

I stared pointedly at the vegetables I was cutting for my salad. I wasn't going to look at him. Looking at him would just make me argue with him. That's what he wants. He obviously hardly gets any attention and he would rather take my pissed off attention than no attention at all.

"Please, you have to understand that I didn't mean it, if you would just let me explain maybe things would be different..." Alex trailed off seeming to hope that what he said would get any reaction from me. Of course there was none. I put the dressing in my salad and walked to the living room and turned on some random show on Netflix. I sprawled out on the couch eating my salad and Alex following me like a lost puppy.

Geez when will the torture end. He should know that I'm not going to talk to him until we get to the stop tomorrow, when we have to make a plan for the raid.

I was blessed with a few moments of silence on his part while I ate my salad. I should've known it was too good to last though.

As I washed my bowl in the sink an arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me a few feet off the ground. I screamed and yelled profanities at Alex as he threw me over his shoulder, giving me full view of his rear end.

"Jesus Christ, you're lighter than a puppy." Alex chuckled as I yelled at him.

"Alex, I swear put me down or so help me!" I screamed.

"Enjoying the view, sweetheart?" Alex said, and I could literally just imagine his stupid face smirking as he said that.

"No! Release me! Put me down! Let go of me! You little motherfucker." I pounded my fists against Alex's back, obviously doing no harm whatsoever, seeing as he hadn't let go of me yet.

"Now, now. Don't you remember what Alfred said? So watch your profanity!" Alex tutted. He finds this way too funny, I honestly just want to kick him where it hurts, and laugh as he cries for his mom.

"Alex, please let me down!" I whined.

"Well, since you said please...I guess I can let you down." Alex lifted me off his shoulder and set me down on the ground none to gracefully.

I glared and him, then punched him square in the jaw, watching him nearly fall over in shock.

"What the hell, Sawyer?!" Alex held his jaw, closing his eyes tightly in pain.

"Maybe you should've let go of me the first time, you jackass." I snapped, brushing past him.

"I didn't think you would actually punch me!" Alex groaned.

"Did you actually expect anything less?" I laid on the couch and glowered at the wall,"you're lucky I didn't do anything else. Because you sure did deserve a lot more."

"No, I didn't...oh...yeah. That." Alex sat on the edge of the couch and looked down at the floor ashamedly.

"Yeah-that." I mocked rolling my eyes.

"Please, give me another chance. Hear me out! Please I beg you Sawyer." Alex begged his voice cracking.

"You have given me no reason to be kind to you, so why should I start now?" I snapped.

If I was a normal girl with a normal past, I would've given him a chance. Unfortunately for him. I wasn't normal. Nor did I have a normal past. I had been hurt several times, given chances too many times. There's a point one reaches when they're past caring. And I'd long passed that. I had given my dad several chances, actually believing he would change. Not to mention my no good boyfriend who I kept around for longer than I should have. I don't know why I even dated him. I guess it was the craving for some form of affection, the affection I never received from my parents. He cheated on me several times but I never broke up with him. Sure we got in giant fights, but I always kept him around. It wasn't until he started hurting me, and tried to pressure me into giving myself to him when I dumped his sorry ass. Maybe that wasn't what all relationships were like. Maybe my dad was actually a screwed up version of what dads should be. Nonetheless it tainted my view on men. All men. Maybe if someone tried when I was still barely damaged, I could be fixed. But now I'm long past the point of being fixed. I'm just about as broken as the beer bottle my dad hit me with a few hours before the world allegedly went crap. When my screwed up life was turned upside down when my dad was turned into a zombie. Some would say that I'm better off now, I have a better life now that I'm safe from zombies. They would also say that I should forgive Alex as well. In both points they would be wrong. I am not better off now than I was before I was taken on his train. Then I had freedom, now I had nothing. And maybe it would be good for me to forgive him, but why should I? He'd say he change and then break his promise a day later. That's how my dad was, that's how my boyfriend was, and they were the two most influential men in my life. So why then should I ever forgive him?

Maybe if I was someone else I could've been kinder, and heard him out at least. But I'm not someone else. I'm Sawyer Mae Parks, a girl who's been broken beyond repair, and has long lost any will to live.

~*~

A/N

HELLOOOOOO

THIS CHAPTER WAS HELLA SLOW SO THATS WHY IM DOING A DOUBLE UPDATE, BECAUSE NEXT CHAPTER IS ACTION PACKED WOOOOOOOOOOO. SO LOOK OUT FOR IT!!!

Please like, comment and enjoy!

Xoxo

-Banava