Heartbreak Girl

Simon ; forget him

WHEN SIMON WAKES, VIOLET IS SLEEPING PEACEFULLY, HAIR FANNED OVER THE PILLOW. Waking up reminded him of why she was here. Garrett. His name filled Simon with jealousy and hurt. He could still remember when he first did this to her, how he'd been tempted to call her dad or try and sort him out himself, but Violet pleaded for him to leave it alone. At that moment, whatever crazy thoughts ran through his head vanished, and all he could see was Violet again. Then again, when did he see anything else but her?

Sometimes he wonders if she loves him too. But he knows the answer, and he doesn't like it. Of course she loves him, but not in the way his heart yearns for. He cannot help but wonder if she'd truly love him back too if he just told her...should he tell her he loves her? Should he spill his bottled up feelings? This is the confession of a lifetime. He feels a fleeting bit of confidence, then anxiety. What if she rejects him?

Violet finally begins to wake. He can feel her heartbeat shift pace as she gains consciousness and he feels his own quicken.

"Simon?" Just the way his name sounds on her lips makes his heart flutter rapidly, wishing to be with her with every fiber of his being.

"Yeah?" He's nervous, a bit breathless too. Should he tell her now? Would her dad kill him? Would Garrett kill him?

"Thanks for being a friend," Violet tells Simon gratefully.

Simon smiles, biting his tongue. He can taste the words dry up in his mouth, bitter, like saying I love you was the stupidest thought to ever grace his mind, hating that he's twenty-one and the most terrifying thing he's encountered is confessing his love to Violet.

He just wants to scream out, be with me, but he ends up telling her what she wants to hear. Because it's Violet. She likes eating peanut butter from the tub, adores animals and is studying to be a veterinarian, knows how to play just about every sport in existence, and always knows what to say to someone, being genuinely kind all the time, she knows every bit of Lord of the Rings trivia. Violet is gorgeous inside and out, someone magical and rare, like a unicorn, someone you come across about once in your lifetime if you're lucky, and you just stare because you're in awe of everything about her even if you don't know her.

"Anytime, Vi. I'm always here for you." But she's already asleep again.

He wishes that Violet could just forget Garret and move on. Preferably to him.

His heart hurts, thinking of their future if only she would open her eyes and see he's been here for her the whole time.

Friendzoned again. It really shouldn't matter but it does. It matters to Simon. He almost feels bitter in that sense, but he gives one glance at Violet's half awake figure and his mood softens. He could never see her as anything but perfect after all.

She will always be his downfall.