Bleeding Love

Day 3

Morning assembly.. I once wished I was dead.. or a shadow.. So that I can see you like this all the time, up close. Happy.. smiling.. really really active. I stare, sneaking glimpses.. wishing you'd catch me and just stare.. But you never did. Seeing you happy.. was good enough for me. Better than me making you frown and cry. I didn't call out to you. Not cause I don't want to.. But I can't. I simply passed by. The end of class, I sit by the bleachers alone as everyone I know has gone home. I sit and wonder.. Huh.. I guess I do lie to you. Everyday. I tell you not to be alone when here I am.. Alone. To not the think of me.. But whenever I'm with my friends.. I forget all about it.. But as soon as I am left alone.. It's you me.. myself.. And I.. Talking again.

"What a hypocrite."

"Don't say that to him."

"He's right."

"No.. You're doing what you think is right. If you don't show you're sad.. She won't be."

"He's right too.."

"WHO DO I BELIEVE?!?!?!"

"You keep hurting her.. And after all that promise not to."

"Sometimes.. We have to do what is best for the people we love.. even hurt them, to save them."

"..."

"This.. Is your sacrifice. Your cross to carry atop the hill."

I look over to the side of the building where I can see a glimpse of the back area of the school. Wondering if she was there or not, I sighed..

"Sorry I hurt you.. Worst man huh?"

All the while.. even while I laid in bed.. I thought that.

"I shouldn't have made you mine.. I knew this would happen.. I knew I'd hurt another pure soul.. I'm a curse.. It just proves what I thought. I'm not here to be happy. I'm here to make others happy. Happiness is not what I deserve."

With that.. I fell asleep. It was hard to cry when you were angry.. But never the less.. the cup was full.. droplets overflew. That night.. I saw myself.. returning into the monster I always was. The monster I was born to be. Funny how I couldn't escape who I was meant to be. No matter how much I tried, it always comes back to haunt me.