Obviously

a/e 1: carnations

(A/N: This starts from when Jungkook gets out of the hospital. Just letting you know.)

taehyung was happier with jimin, but i was safer with hoseok.

2 years later and hoseok and i were a happy couple. we moved in, got a dog. the works.

but.

taehyung had come back into my life.

we worked at the same place.

there was no escape.

he talked to me with his smooth, deep voice.

we fucked in the bathroom.

not once, not twice, not 3 times.

10 times over the course of a 5 day work week.

we started to be friends.

my heart ached.

by rope.

i wrote my will again.

taehyung and i weren't even ment to be friends. it all goes down hill. we started dating again. secretly. i felt horrible.

5 months into our secret relationship, it was back to the way we were 5 months in last time.

by rope.

hoseok found my list. i explained everything. i cried. he cried. he wasn't mad. he understood me. he understood why i did what i did. i hated myself for it. hate myself for it. he didn't deserve what i did to him. i didn't deserve him.

tae and i met in the workplace restroom one slow afternoon.

'jungkook. you and i, are not ment to be and i hate it. i think... you are what i need. i need to fix myself and you can help.' we shared frantic kisses while undressing.

'do you remember, when we first started this, the conversation we had?' he pushed my face into the wall of the stall.

'uh, yeah.. oh~ about the-- ah! books?" my speach was slurred due my face being squished and the feel of him inside me.

'yes, ugh, the books. what if we-- mm, pick our story back up and oh, fuck, jungkook, write a happy ending?' between grunts he explained himself.

'tae, i, oh, god. yeah, right there... i would love to start ag-AIN!' we were quiet aside from grunts again for another 10 minutes.

'as you were saying, you'd like to start again?' i smiled wide and hugged taehyung, walking back to out posts.

'i'll have to break the news to hobi... and you, jimin.'
'jimin was a fuck toy anyway, but hoseok... hoseok really cares about you.'
'he cares about me, but he cares about my happiness over his own. i may be selfish for this, but i'll have to crush him again...'
'i'll introduce him to jimin. they'll get along just fine.' i smiled into his chest.

i remember this moment as the happiest one in my life. the way he smelled, like maple syrup, vanilla coffee, cherry lollipop and after-sex. it was my drug and after being out for so long, i'm glad he's back in business.

we moved in together again, back to his apartment. i told hobi everything and he helped me pack, wishing me luck. jimin was less co-opprative, but ended up leaving as well.

hoseok and jimin hit it off well and recently, hoseok has told me that he thinks he's developed feelings for him. i'm happy for him.

i'm happy. for the first time in years, i can truly say i'm happy.

taehyung and i had actually talked about marriage last week. we are both not ready for anything that solid, but as of right now, i'll settle for this.

to elaborate:

my name is jeon jungkook.
if i had killed myself, i wouldn't be where i am now.
being a teenager sucks, but things always have the potential to get better.
it all depends on if you're ready to step up and make it better first.
snowball yourself to the top.
only you can make you happy first.
someone will always be there, you just have to reach out.
it worked for me.

obviously.