Call me crazy

All the strength I've got.

My lip began to quiver, and my eyes began to moisten. I bit my lip in agony to hold in the tremor, agitation,shame and every other sentiment within my being. I am befuddled by my own thoughts as if I were unable to think. My mind went blank like a night sky without the pulchritudinous stars that can take my breath away. Breath one, Breath two, Breath three. Don't let your mom see you cry. She has been through enough today. Please don't cry. I could no longer hold in my emotions . I balled my eyes out. My tears poured out like rain. My mother of course, being the most amazing human to ever grace this earth, just held me close and sang me my favorite lullaby. "I remember tears streaming down your face,When I said, I'll never let you go, When all those shadows almost killed your light,I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone, But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight,Just close your eyes, The sun is going down,You'll be alright,No one can hurt you now,Come morning light,You and I'll be safe and sound" I hummed along the whole time. Just as the song finished I was able to breath again. My heart was no longer heavy in my chest. I have OCD. I have depression. It all makes sense. This is an explanation to all the problems I never understood.

Just as I was calming down a familiar face graced me at the door. I squinted my eyes and as my vision began to settle. Although I had hoped he would come, his timing was way off. I am unable to compose myself. Great. Now he is going to see me all a mess and in a hospital bed hooked up to a bunch of IV's and all this junk. Breath one. Breath two. Breath three. Four. My mom went to the door and looked back asking for my permission to let him in the door. Should I? I question myself reasonably because the last time i'd seen him, he made a fool of me in front of the entire cafeteria. He cheated on me with Anastasia my fake best friend and as much as he doesn't deserve to be spoken to, I still deserve answers. I also intend to get them.

I fixed my hair and put on a bit of gloss just as he had turned his back. This bare face needs to not be seen by anyone but me. He entered with sorrow and shame in his eyes. He sat at the chair next to my bed. All I could see was his gorgeous dirty blonde locks. Caleb was just staring at the ground. My guess is he is trying to fathom his words and thoughts. Maybe trying to figure out what to tell me but, I am growing impatient. I couldn't bear the awkward silence any longer, my anxiety was kicking down the wall I put up and it was strong. "CALEB. I AM NOT JUST GOING TO SIT IN THIS SILENCE. IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY SPIT IT OUT." I growled

"You want me to spit it out? Fine. I love you Aria! You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Whatever happened with Anastasia was a set up. She has something on my family, I c-c-an't let it get out. So she said that if I would help her get some 9th grader jealous that she would drop it. Ana' took it way too far. She tried to make-out with me but I pushed her away. She is devious and jealous of you. I don't even know why I was friends with her or why you are either. She can be so manipulative and she makes you want to kiss up to her. I'm so sorry Aria. You don't deserve this." He screamed in distress and confusion. By the end of his rant ,warm, salty tears were streaming down his gorgeous tan face. His blue eyes were devastated. I no longer was able to see the happiness I had before in his eyes. I knew what he was telling me was truthful. Caleb is not one to let down his guard like this, somethings really wrong.

I lifted his head and I wiped his tears. I caressed his face and ran my fingers through his soft hair. He looked at me with an inexplicable expression. Like a mixture of every emotion that could be felt was going through him. "I love you too. Something has changed though... I have depression and OCD." I posed.Caleb's face dropped and he got up and just hugged me as tight as he possibly could. He came close to my ear and whispered in a sweet and quiet tone."This changes nothing. I love you with everything in me. You're my everything and whatever I can do to help you, I will." Now I was the one in tears. I turned my face and looked into his cool blue eyes. We made eye contact and it was like the universe was down to us. All of our problems- Anastasia, school, our families, my new found condition- nothing was in our way at this point. Caleb grabbed the back of my neck and swooped me in. Our lips touched and moved in sink with each other. One, two, three, four, five seconds. Omg. This is a legit first kiss. We pulled back and I was blushing like crazy. I probably would look like a tomato if I wasn't so tan.

He bit his lip and did that sexy smirk thing. It could make me melt any day. He grabbed a bouquet of flowers just like the ones he gave me when he asked me to the dance. Caleb handed them to me and motioned for me to read the card. It reminded me... Today was the dance! My doctor said I wasn't going to be able to go anywhere until tomorrow. I read the note " May I have this dance?" I l looked at him, and bit my lip. Here comes the blushing again. "So will you?" Caleb asked raising his eyed brows. I see the mischief in his expression. "Yes you may sir." I giggled as I arose from my bed. We began to waltz and he twirled me around my hospital room. I was laughing and beaming the entire time. In him is where I found my happiness. I was in love and although I am still trying to figure out what I'm doing, I am not scared to be. I couldn't help myself. I took his face and smacked his lips right on to mine and we melted into each other." Damn babe, you're a real good kisser ya know that?" I asked in a goofy voice. " Am I... maybe you need to double check?" he said laughing and once again kissed me. But this time there was passion and forgiveness and everything that we both needed.

My mother walked in on our make-out session and we immediately pulled back. I dipped back into my hospital bed and we started talking about the color of my dress for the dance. I lied and said some hideous color like purple. He nodded, pretending he was engaging in the conversation. My mom gave me a look and we both busted out laughing. Caleb's phone went off and It was none other that the wicked witch of the west. Anastasia. He looked at me questioning whether he should answer. I took the phone from him and answered it. "Hello?" I said in my man voice. "Look Caleb, Aria told me she wants to break up with you. I also wanted you to know that our little make-out session was pretty nice." "BAHAHAHAHA. Hi, it's me Aria and no I didn't. Oh and me and Caleb's was good too. Only difference is I didn't force him. He did it at his own will. Have a nice dance, by your self. " I said with a vengeful tone. I was not going to take her crap anymore. She scoffed and hung up the phone. Caleb looked at me funny. "Babe that was the sexiest thing ever. You're hot when your mad." He said with the smirk that gets me EVERY TIME. I busted out laughing. He eventually went home, but I stood up all night. It was dark and chilly in my hospital room, I stared up at the ceiling for many hours. I just couldn't stop replaying the events of my day in my mind. My life was complete. Now it's time to tackle my condition. I'm bringing all the strength I've got.