Notes From my Friends (Comedies)

The Marvelous Misadventures of Farquad - Tori Davis

Note: She had me draw a little dog in the top left corner of the paper before she wrote me this.

... Dog? I had a dog once. He was my only companion, until one day, on fateful day. It was a Tuesday - no, let's make it a Friday. Yes, it was a Friday, slightly windy with rain, overcast skies. I was looking forward to the weekend, parties and friends. When suddenly, my beloved Farquad took off out the door. As I loved this dog, I chased after him, following wherever he went. I had almost cought up to Farquad in a dimly-lit alley when I was attacked by highway monsters.

I awoke completely naked some hours later, buried in a holly bush by a deserted road. Looking around I spotted a hobo. I snuck around in the bushes until I was exactly behind the hobo. Then, letting out a mighty warriors cry, I attacked him from behind and we began to wrestle. At some point during the struggle, I was able to get a hold of a manhole cover and beat him about the head with it. Once I was sure that the wretched creature was knocked unconscious, I took his clothes for myself.

I then proceeded to follow the road for hours upon hours, facing immense hunger, thirst and a terrible craving for watermelons. Suddenly, the road came to a dead end. At the end of the road stood a massive slide. Picture the tallest building you have ever seen, and this slide was 0.3 inches taller! Finding no other way, I climbed up the steps and slid down the slide. The slide dropped me into a deep cave, inhabited by giant bats. The mother bat and I grew close, and she let me fly on her wings to where Farquad was. But! My dog had gotten into some baaaad stuff. He was now a 6.3 foot, 3 headed monster of doom! With tears in my eyes, I knew what I had to do to save society from my monster. With the help of the bat colony and some very cheeky police officers, Farquad was brought down for good.

Amongst the rubble of broken buildings and dead cats, I found, right next to Farquad's collar, this very piece of paper, with a little dog drawn on the top corner...