TMNT: Are we more than "Just Friends"?

Chapter 20: Donnie's thoughts

For the past day, Donnie has been resting in his room. He was really terrified, he can't control his body at times. His head also started to hurt with agonizing pain.

But he was thinking. If Shredder can't control his body, does he have other plans? If so, what? Donnie does know his brain isn't fully brainwashed, some of it gone away.

He remembers he went in the sewers once before, when he was brainwashed. Shredder could see what he is seeing, since he's the one brainwashing him. Which means..

"Oh no." He said to himself. If Shredder did see what Donnie was seeing, he would've seen where their headquarters is! Donnie has showed Shredder their secret lair, as well as everything in it.

'I can't do anything now.' He thought, as he held his head. He has shown everything. And Shredder probably saved the video in Baxter's computers.

But what was Donnie gonna do? His brain is mixed with different thoughts and fears, he couldn't think. It was late at night, he is supposed to be asleep by now. And if he tries to tell his brothers now, they would've been disturbed.

And Donnie couldn't defeat the Shredder himself alone, he knows his moves though. Donnie knows Shredder's fighting styles, training styles and more. Shredder taught Donnie these different fighting styles, but the question is, was that all he knew? Did Shredder taught everything he knows?

This made Donnie scared, this brainwashing ruined his life. He might just hurt his brothers, worse, it just might kill them. This might also cut the
communication between him and his human friends above.

But what did make him mad? What made him so angry, and made him rush to the surface? He remembers it was a girl, but wasn't Nicole.

Then it snaps. "O' Neil, it was April!" He said as he gripped his blanket. It was the red head. Donnie finally had the courage to say he liked her, and he also thought Nicole was away.

But what did he get? Rejection. It was one of the worst experiences he felt. 'It wasn't her fault.' he thought. It was her opinion, she didn't like Donnie, then, fine. Let Jones have her.

'It wasn't April's fault.' He thought. 'She just simply didn't like me, then I over-reacted.'

He felt hopeless, he was the cause of his family breaking, and the girls sad. It was all his fault. Everything wouldn't be so dramatic if it weren't because of him.

'Okay, Donnie, go back to Shredder.'

Back to Shredder, Donnie couldn't fight him alone. He needed assistance, he was a bit unstable. And maybe, he can't just fight him. Maybe he was too strong, and he needed somebody to fight for him.

But who is this 'somebody'? Was it his brothers? Was it the girls? Specifically who?

Everything is messing his mind up. His mind was giving him just a hard time to think, and it's just ironic how people think his mind is his gift.

Everyone thought he was the smart one, or maybe he inventor, but sometimes he just felt like an idiot. Like now, he doesn't know what to do. It wasn't always he can't think, he usually knows a solution for every problem. But now, he felt like he was the problem.

He felt so useless. Probably even lost. Probably he's not the only one lost. He knows his brothers as well is as lost as him, but they were facing it pretty well. He was the only one who felt really hurt.

He's just so.. Worried. He just might hurt everyone else. He attacked Splinter already, what more? He almost killed Splinter! He felt broken.

And for the girls, he did think they were a blessing. These girls didn't judge him and his brothers, even though they were mutant turtles with masks. He didn't want them to get hurt.. Or let them leave one more time..

"Ugh!" He said as he got out of bed. 'If I can't even sleep, why am I even trying?'

He walked to the kitchen. He decided to get a simple glass of water. He got a cup, and simply filled it with water.

"Don, what are you up this late?"

A voice then spoke. It was from Raph's room. "Raph? Oh, I was just thirsty." Replied Donnie. Raph then walked up to him.

"How about you? Why are you up?" Asked Donnie as he took a sip at his water. "I was hungry." He replied as he got one slice of frozen pizza from the fridge.

"So wh-" Donnie then felt some throbbing pain from his head which made him drop his cup. "Raph, get away!" Donnie pushed his brother away.

"What's wrong, Don?" Raph asked as he looked concernly looked at his screaming brother. "Just get AWAY!"

~
A/N

CLIFFHANGER WOOOOOOO