Thirty Days (A Birdflash Fanfiction)

Day 19: In Formal Wear

Dick stood on a balcony just outside Wayne Manor's ballroom. The party had started twenty minutes ago, and his fiance still hadn't arrived. To his own engagement party.

"Wally," Dick said sternly into the phone, "you promised you would be on time for this."

"I know, I know." Wally grunted. "But when a giant robot starts lasering your city, things fall by the wayside."

"Please tell me you're not fighting that thing in your tux."

"It may have gotten lasered off me just before you called."

Dick pinched the bridge of his nose. "Should I get Barry? You know, your uncle who somehow managed to be on time even though you two guard the same city?"

"No, no." A high-pitched metallic whine burst through the speaker, and Dick had to hold the phone away from him for a moment. "I got this. Just figured out the thing's sensitive to water. Trying to lead it to a fire hydrant."

"Will that be enough water? I mean, you did say it was a giant robot."

"Not that giant. About the size of two Supermen, maybe?"

"That's not giant, Walls. That's just large."

"Can you save the nitpicking for when I'm not having lasers shot at—ow!"

"You alive?"

"Yeah. Mostly. My ass is gonna be so red in a minute."

"Nice. It'll match the rest of you."

"Shut up." Wally yelled incoherently, and a hissing sound filled the space. "Gotcha, you metal piece of... oh, it's melting. That's... unexpected. I thought water would fry the circuits, but nope. It's turned into a puddle."

"Get the cops to take over and get your burnt ass over here, stat. I'll get Alfred to find you a spare suit."

Wally blew a kiss through the phone. "I love you very much."

"I love you too. Now get over here so we can get the ball rolling. Bruce is going to burst a blood vessel if he has to keep the news to himself for much longer."

Wally eventually found his way to the manor, where Dick and Alfred quickly shuffled him off to get dressed. Alfred also brought him an ice pack. Wally sat on the ice pack for a while and Dick cleaned some minor cuts on his face that were already healing.

"I really am sorry I'm late," Wally said.

"I know," Dick said mildly. "I forgive you. How's your butt?"

"Cold."

"That's probably for the best." Dick finished cleaning and tapped a kiss on Wally's forehead. He helped Wally into the new shirt and smacked his hands away when Wally tried to button it up himself.

"I could get used to this. You taking care of me. Me sitting here and doing nothing."

Dick snorted. "Don't." He slid the bowtie around Wally's collar and tied it for him. "Do you still need the ice pack or can we put your pants on now?"

Wally pulled the pack out from under his butt. "I think I'm good. Got any boxers I could borrow? Mine are a bit singed."

Dick dug into his drawers and threw a pair at him. Wally took his time putting them on, and Dick had to stop looking before they ended up even later to the party than they already were.

"You didn't mind looking at Wally Junior last night, babe."

Dick cleared his throat. "We didn't have somewhere to be last night. Now put your damn pants on so we can get out there. And please don't call your penis Wally Junior ever again."

"Party pooper."

The finally made it out to the party, close to forty-five minutes after it was meant to start. Bruce, apparently, had worked his way through several glasses of champagne during the wait, because he didn't seem bothered at all by their lateness.

"We're about ready to make the announcement," Dick told him.

"Wonderful." Bruce gave him the full-on Brucie Wayne smile, and Dick quickly reassessed his assumption. He wasn't intoxicated at all; he was pissed off and covering it up with excessive politeness because they were surrounded by socialites.

"Sorry," Wally said. "Totally my fault."

"Oh, I know." Bruce wandered off to talk to a pretty blonde in a sparkly dress.

"I'm scared," Wally whispered.

"You should be," Dick whispered back. "Now let's get up on the stage and get this over with before he starts turning the champagne bottles into weapons."

Alfred signalled for the band to stop playing, and Dick and Wally stepped up onto the raised platform.

"'Evening, everybody," Dick said into the microphone. "So sorry for the delay. Somebody got lost on the way to the party." Wally fidgeted a bit beside him, and the room shimmered with polite tittering. "I'm glad you could all make it here tonight and share this moment with us." As predicted, his words set the room chattering with speculation. "I'll spare you the story, though I will say it involves a failed picnic basket and an apology milkshake, but Wally and I have an announcement to make." He reached for Wally's hand, the one with the ring on it. "Wally and I are getting married."

The room filled with applause. Bruce may or may not have wiped his eyes. It was hard to tell with him. Damian had shown up at Bruce's side at some point. His arms were crossed. He wasn't especially fond of Wally, and a confrontation was surely in the making, but Dick was positive they would all cross that bridge when they got to it. Tonight, however, was for celebrating.

Dick caught Wally's lips in an unfortunately chaste kiss. There would be time later for touching, for holding, for everything, but for now Dick let go of the kiss and stepped down into the crowd to accept their congratulations, Wally's hand still firmly clasped in his.