Sweet Violette

Chapter 3 ( Tracy's P.O.V)

I left on Ms. Everest's car. She proved to be rather trustworthy and caring, offering me her guestroom as a place to stay until I got a job and got an apartment when i was old enough of course.

Jake...his image flashed through my mind and i sighed. Of course I knew that he was all fun and games. The way he flirted with me then his girlfriend came about...wow. I was not interested in a relationship at this point. The only person who actually looked genuine in my life was Ms. Everest. In fact, her past was a bit like mine, only less dramatic and she was adopted at age twelve by some rich folks who still cared for her.

"what are you thinking about sweetheart?" Ms.Everest asked me. " Just...how grateful i am for your kindness," I smiled. " Well...its a win win situation.....you get a home, I get a daughter," Ms. Everest smirked. Suddenly a thought struck me and my eyes widened. "what if the Home...what if they send cops to search for me....what if i have to go back there," i half screamed in panic. " Oh...I never did think of that," Ms. Everest bit her lower lip thoughtfully. I can go to them early tomorrow morning and tell them that you're with me...if it even changes the situation...you're almost an adult..you can make your own decisions," she said to me sweetly and i nodded.

We arrived at her house. Pretty huge. I followed her up the staircase and into a beautiful lounge. The decor was splendid. She motioned me to sit and went to prepare dinner in the kitchen. " Jake's mom usually comes over for dinner, so I prepare a lot.." she stated grabbing pans and plates. " Tell me Jake does not come," I groaned. "Only when he was 5...now he's all grown and barely talks to anyone ...except for that Elizabeth chic....his girlfriend. Longest he has ever had in fact...proud of him," Ms.Everest said stirring...what was that?

" Great," I exhaled in relief. " You can go check out your room...fifth to the left," she told me. I got up excitedly. My own room...sounded better than finding Canathy!! okay....nothing could be better than finding Canathy.

Canathy was the result of my stepfather's abuse. I loved her, and hoped that she would never find out the circumstances under which she was born. She was taken in by the local asylum. She was four years...born on May 16th, a painful yet joyous day it had been for me. I was only 14, incapable of providing Canathy with the proper care she deserved. I felt as if my whole life had crumpled into pieces when i found out that i was pregnant. It felt as if from that day onward, I would have never been happy, my childhood was reaped away, innocence torn off. I was thankful that I got to name her.

Canathy; even now as I walked towards my room, I remembered all the quotes which I had highlighted from the book which I had read before her birth. Canathy was a brave orphan from a book called Trampled. She fought through her battles although everybody was against her.

I entered the room and was almost in tears. It was in violet, my favorite color. The bed looked comfortable and the furniture was in white. Almost like I'd imagined my dream room, but my name was not embroidered on everything in this one. Violet was a comforting color to me, it brought back memories with my dad. He used to be such a wonderful father before alcohol and drugs devastated his future.

"You like it?" I turned to see Ms.Everest with a flowered apron over her dress. "LOVE IT," i hugged her and she returned the hug. " Thank you so much, you have no idea what this means to me," I eagerly continued. " I'm glad you like it..and you're welcome..its really not a big deal...it's actually pretty lonely leaving in this house alone...with Butch and Swim," she said to me. " Who's Butch and Swim?" I inquired. " They're my two dogs....males," she smiled. "oh," I replied

"well, I'm going to check up on the food..." Ms.Everest chirped then left. I looked down through the window at the eerie night.

Pretty nice...in the Home, all I could have seen from the window, was ....other girls sleeping, probably wishing that they didn't have such irresponsible insensible parents.

From the window, I saw a vehicle, pulling over at the front of the house. Maybe it was Jake's mom. I really wanted to meet her. She parked and the backdoor opened. Out came Jake and I nearly tore the window curtains in frustration. His mom came out fixing her hair and ruffling up his. She looked like those women who cried when age crept upon them. Like those who could not accept wrinkles. Jake had on a white t-shirt and black denim jeans. Even in the dimmed light I could read see his pompous smile. Boys like that irritated the shit out of me.

I took out my diary, to write an entry. It had been a long time since I had written in it. It was just an ordinary stack of papers bound with thread, but it had so much significance to my life. It was almost like my best friend. Weird..I know.

I jotted down my thoughts, and doodled little images. My first entry was when i was 6. I had found the old book somewhere and decided to make it into a diary since mom had refused to buy me the Cinderella one.

I heard chatter in the kitchen and ignored it. The last thing i needed was to go to the kitchen and be tortured by Jake. He was quite handsome...probably the average teenage girl's dream boy. I was not average though, I looked beyond looks and read the soul.

I looked in my duffel bag, I had a few articles of clothing, miscellaneous stuff, my knife. Looking at the knife brought tears to my eyes. I looked at my chest through the mirror on the wall, after removing my blouse. The scars were still there, and probably would remain there until my death. At the Home, I was introduced to self harm by Karen, one of the older girls. She said that it made her pain feel lighter. It removed some of her burdens. I tried it out, just a little slit...and the blood was pouring out rapidly. I continued the habit. It never helped me though, only left me hiding my chest and thighs to the entire world for fear of interrogation.

The door to the room suddenly opened and I covered my bare chest.