Sweet Violette

Chapter 5 (Jake's P.O.V)

She had never had a boyfriend before...that was hard to believe. I shifted closer to her and her breathing quickened as if she was anxious.

I gently held her hand and caressed it, maintaining eye contact with her. "Jake...I don't want to ..go there with you," she whispered.

Her words hit a very deep spot inside me and I bit my lower lip in disappointment. Rejection? I had never been rejected by a girl. In fact, girls at my college found it a privilege to be dated by me. "Sorry..it's just that...you won't understand," Tracy said to me and a tear escaped her emerald eye.

I released her hand and faced her entirely. Her face was drooped and she was crying. I had no idea why she was so emotional and it was on my agenda to find out. " And ...If you could have broken up with Eliza just like that..chances are you'd do the same to me," Tracy muttered and shrugged.

" No I would not...you have no clue of the type of guy I am," I defended. "Most times my assumptions are right," she challenged me. "Not this time.." I smirked.

Her lips were so tempting and they quivered with each word she spoke. " You always get what you want right?" Tracy inquired staring at me. I lowered my head.I did not want her to get that impression of me, even if it was the absolute truth. " I don't want to be any guy's bitch Jake...like I don't submit...I won't be your little poodle on a leash following you around like you were the biggest bone," she shook her head violently.

" What makes you think that I want you to do that?" I asked her. " I'm pretty sure you do," she stated. i sighed and looked at her slender legs crossed at her thighs. Her thighs...they were scarred with thin cuts. She noticed that I was looking at her thighs and covered them with a bedspread. "You can't keep hiding...what happened?" I asked her.

"Nothing...I just had a little accident," she shrugged. " Hey...if you've never had a boyfriend why are you so stereotypical?" I inquired and her face turned a light red. She stood and entered the washroom. Weird?

I surveyed the girly room...too clean for comfort and too violet. It was a mournful color and i despised it. It was like the color for Funeral Homes or Parlors.

A thick black book caught my attention and I inquisitively picked it up. It was her diary...oops. I felt bad that I had opened her diary but ...I was desperate to find out more about her. I shoved the book into my bag and returned to some level of normalcy as she returned from the washroom. " Sorry...I'm awkward," she explained and sat a good distance away from me.

"It's okay...awkward's good?" I inquired and I then realized her radiant smile. She was gorgeous in fact.

She scanned her room and I hoped that she wouldn't see that her diary thingy was missing. I was planning to put it back when I was done. How often did girls even update that thing? I hoped that it was not daily cause I wouldn't have returned it in a day.

She spent a good time just eyeing me and I began getting uncomfortable. I needed to know what was on her mine. "What are you thinking of ?" I asked her and she half smiled.

"Give it up Jake... why are you actually here?" She questioned, pure curiosity in her voice. I sighed and ruffled my hair. "I actually wanted to talk to you..," I admitted. " Spare yourself the stress of asking me to be your girlfriend Jake... I'm not interested in a relationship...at least not right now," She said to me softly. Rejection felt like a fucking sting right on my ego.

"Fine I've given up," I huffed. She looked away from me, then suddenly, the door to her room opened and in walked Marie. "Did...I...interrupt something?" she asked, with a goofy grin. " No...in fact I was just leaving," I announced then got up from the bed.

That was enough rejection for one day. I had not given up though. I was determined to find out what made her so hurt and fragile, then use it to make her mine. My plan would work...it had to. I thought this would be easier though,( Like greeting, tell her she's beautiful, watch her lips, make eye contact, kiss her, compliment, make her mine).

However none of that crap was working on Tracy. I went out of the room after it dawned to me that I was staring into space like an asshole. " I made food,"Marie squeaked at my back. "Not hungry..thanks though," I replied. " I made some crab cakes just for you Jay," she whined.

"Fine...I'll have a few," I gave in as she mentioned crab. I loved every single thing to do with crabs. Tracy appeared with a grim look. Mom instantly ran up to her and wrapped her in a hug , that I swore would have crushed her bones. " She is pretty Ma, and wow such lovely eyes...like gems...how old are you darling?" mom's tone was so hypocritical it made me cringe. "I'm 17, going to be 18 soon," Tracy piped, unaware that mom was actually frowning upon her. That was the thing with my mom... She looked down upon anybody who couldn't fly first class.

" Wow...here have some food," mom offered. She tried to sound polite but I could tell that she was jeering at Tracy's size. " I'm not hungry," Tracy scowled, possibly catching on to mom's sarcasm.

I grabbed a crab cake and dipped it in Marie's infamous dip. My phone suddenly buzzed and I pulled it out to see Kayla calling. Humph!

I exited the kitchen to take the call. "Hey Kay," I answered. "you've been ignoring my messages ... and calls and now you answer as if all is well...way to be a bitch Jake," Kayla responded and I could hear her sulking. "I've been busy babe," I bit my lower lip, in the hope that she would buy it. "Busy with what?" she asked me. "school?" I lied. " C'mon Jake...school? Your daddy basically pays your 4.0 g.p.a in advance for each semester...you get an easy perfect pass...no work needed," Kayla replied.

Kayla was a friend, well a girl that I had once lured into my room but...that was irrelevant." Look...the school dance is in a few weeks and we need to get our outfits," Kay reminded me. "shit, I forgot," I groaned. "which is why I've called," Kayla stated the obvious. "What color are you thinking?" I asked her. " Green or teal," she said and I heard her best friends snickering how cute we would look, in the back. " Alright...we'll talk about this later, " I stated and then hung up as mom walked up to me. "who was it?" she eagerly grinned.

"kayla," I shrugged. " She messaged me on instagram ," mom said to me. "since when do you have an instagram," I asked her in amazement. " Since when Allie taught me to take a selfie," mom smiled. I rolled my eyes. " She wants me to be her chaperone on the night of your dance...I'll make you two look the best!" mom clapped.

I gave her a small smile of appreciation and she wrapped me in a hug. "I'm so glad you came to your senses and dumped that liz bitch...Kayla is much prettier," mom patted my head and said. "Actually I'm not dating Kayla...she's only my date to the dance,"I corrected her sharply.

" Who are you dating then?" mom challenged. "Tracy," I stated and laughed at myself for saying that. Mom looked at me like I had spoken a foreign language!

"tell me you're joking," she pleaded. " I am...but maybe she's pretty," I coughed out.

" Give me a break...she barely has meat on her bones, her eyes nearly fall out of her socket, her skin is covered in red bruises... She has no parents... no life...no standards, values, morals, goals, achievements, wealth, foundation...nothing!!! The day you bring such a girl to my house...is the day you'd move out," mom scolded me.

"I was planning on staying at the dorms anyway," I shrugged and walked away from my angry mother. Sometimes she sickened the fuck out of me.