Love Lost

III

Kayla

"Baby you have to get out someday" Kandace said as she stroked my hair.

I wasn't in the mood to do anything. I felt lifeless.

"I don't want to" I sniffled.

"Kayla I understand your still hurt but it's not just you your living for! You have a new life inside of you. Your baby is depending on you! Now get up and take a shower so we could leave" Kandace said snatching the covers from off my body.

I unwilling got up and started making my way towards the bathroom "That a girl" Kandace smiled.

I stripped from my clothes and turned the shower on. Weeks had passed since Jamal funeral. I could still feel his presence around me but that still didn't heal the pain that I felt.

I still don't officially know the details of what happen. No one was telling me anything and it pissed me off.

You could go from spending everyday with someone to never seeing them again in the blank of an eye.

I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. I wanted to die and wash all of my pain away. I wanted to see Jamal again, to sleep in his arms. To hear the words "I love you" over and over again as he kiss my face.

I wanted him! I needed him! I needed to know that he was okay and everything was going to be alright. I needed him to tell me again how much I mean to him. I want to feel his body against mines.

All of that was ripped away from me. Away from our unborn child.

The tears started back up. "Jamal baby--I need you. I miss you so much baby" I cried.

"I miss you too" I could hear his voice.

"Baby I love you so much. I need you to stay strong for me"

"Jamal I can't" I cried

"Yes you can baby. I need you to do this for me. Can you do that?"

"Jamal how could you leave me?"

"Baby I'm sorry, that wasn't my intensions. I love you Kayla and I need you to be strong. Can you do that baby?"

"I don't think I can Jamal"

"Baby yes you can! I know you can! Stop crying baby. I'll see you soon okay"

"Jamal please!" I cried.

No response

I rinsed the soap off and got out the shower. I didn't want to leave the comfort of my home. The place I last seen my baby. But it was time to get out.

"Hey I thought you m--" Kandace had stopped talking once she looked at my face. "You've been crying? Listen I know it's hard right now but I promise it will get better okay. You have me and Kamille and everyone else here for you"

I nodded and started getting dressed.

After I put my hair up into a bun, I grabbed my purse, my keys then left out with Kandace.

"You hungry" She asked once we where in her car.

I sheepishly shrugged making her sign.

"Chicken and waffles it is then" She smiled starting up the car and driving off.

"Hey, that day at the hospital why didn't you acknowledge Angela?" Kandace asked looking over at me every so often.

"When do I ever acknowledge her?"