Love Lost

II

Kayla

"Baby girl you gotta wake up and take care of our little one" Jamal said.

"Jamal? Where are you?" I asked looking around the big empty space.

"Somewhere safe baby, now wake up"

"Jamal no! Please don't leave me! I need you"

"Baby I'm here. I'm gonna always be here. I'll be waiting for you in the next life"

"But Jamal I need you here with me" I said as the tears started to fall again.

"Baby I'm here, I told you that! Now wake up!"

"No baby please!" I cried "Jamal?"

No response

"Jamal!?" I yelled again.

No response.

"1, 2, 3 charge!"

My eyes shot open as the machine beside me begin to go off. "She's back!" A nurse yelled while they hooked me up to some cords.

"I hear the baby's heartbeat" The doctor called.

"Hello Ms Ross. I'm Dr, Phoenix  how are you feeling?" The doctor asked as he checked my eyes with his flash light. 

"Did you say baby?" I asked wide eyed.

I couldn't be. I mean no Jamal didn't wrap up every time but I was on the pill so I couldn't be.

"Yes, congratulations now I-"

"Wait, so I'm pregnant ? Me? But how?"

"Well uh I think you know how" Doctor Phoenix smirked.

I gave him that "really nigga" look before he coughed straightening up.

"Um yes pregnant your 2 months today" He smiled. "Now I'm gonna need for you to take it easy with our Miracle baby okay" He said before jotting something down on his clip board.

"You family is here to see you. Now they can only stay for a couple mins, you need to get some rest" The doctor said before ushering the nurses out.

Did he baby? As in growing in my stomach baby?

"Oh my god! Kayla are you okay!" I heard my older sister yell, followed by my other sister and my mother.

"Kandace" my voice cracked.

"My poor baby" Kandace cried engulfing me in a hug. She acted as more of a mother figure than a big sister.

"I can't do this" I cried shaking my head. "I need him. I need Jamal. What  am I gonna do?" I asked as I broke down.

"I know it hurts baby, but we will get through this okay. You now have a baby to look out for. A baby that's counting on you" Kandace said as she wiped away my tears.

"Where is Ms Pamela?" I asked

"I'm right here baby" She said walking in the room. Her voice was low and almost gone.

"Mommy" I cried

"I know baby I know" She said wiping away at her own tears.

Angela my real mother got up and walked out. I guess she's upset I didn't acknowledge her presence. I never did before, so why start now?

"Can I get you anything Kay?" Kamilla my other sister asked, while I shook my head no.

"He's gone and I can't get him back..." I snobbed into my sister chest.

1 week later...

I looked into the mirror as my reflection stared back at me. It was the day of Jamal's funeral and I was physically and emotionally drained.

This past week as been nothing but pure hell. My heart ached and my face was big and puffy.

When Jamal died he took half of my heart with him. The other half was broken into unfixable pieces that only he would be able to repair.

My hair was done up in a tight bun and the black dress seemed to clung to my body tightly, showing off my barely noticeable baby bump.

I slipped my feet into some comfortable red bottoms and grabbed my clutch. My face was bare with no make up in sight.

I looked down at my engagement ring and smiled while a lone tear slipped out.

A soft knock came from the door and I knew...it was time.

I did once last look in the mirror before walking out the bedroom and into the living room where Jamal family and my sisters where waiting.

I faked a small smile dodging all the sympathy looks people where giving me.

"Ready?" I asked. Without a response I walked out the house and into the limo.

It took us at least 20 mins to finally get to the church that was holding Jamal funeral.

Your strong Kayla. Jamal wouldn't want you to cry. He wouldn't want you to cry.

I chanted over and over again. The limo door swung open. It was time.

I slowly placed my feet on the ground and got out. Everyone's eyes was on me. They was watching my every step.

I took a deep breath in then breathed out and walked into the church. His body laid lifeless in the coffin that was placed at the front.

He was dressed in a Amarni suit and a SnapBack hat. I chuckled shaking my head.

It looked nothing like him.

I took slow steps towards his casket as tears started to slide down my face.

I can't do this

It hurt to see him laid up like that. He didn't deserve it.

More tears flowed like a river. The closer I got to his casket the more I started to break down.

"Please God give me the strength" I whispered.

I finally reached his casket.

"J-Jamal" I snobbed "I can't do this with out you baby. I can't believe you left me" I cried.

I never felt so much pain in my life. It hurt. It hurt so bad.

"Baby I can't go on without you Jamal. What am I suppose to do without you?" I cried dropping down to my knees.

"BRING HIM BACK! Bring him back! It's not fair!!" I cried "It's not fair!"

Manny ran over to where I laid on the ground and tried to help me up.

"Manny please bring my baby back! They took him! They took him from me!" I cried.

"Baby girl I know, just calm down for me please" Manny said trying to drag me to my seat but I wasn't budging.

"He can't leave me Manny! I love him to much. BABY WAKE UP!" I yelled jumping out Jamal arms.

"JAMAL WAKE UP! Please baby I need you! Please....wake up"

It was to much for me to bare. I broke down crying in front of the whole church.

It was just to much!

Jamal in MM