The Last One

Chapter 31

Elrond, Gandalf, Thorin, Balin and Bilbo had gone to deal with the map. The other dwarves had started their own small party in the quarters they had been given and were roasting sausages on a fire built from broken pieces of elvish furniture. Bofur, who had been roasting a sausage looked from it to Bombur who was sitting on a table that was barely holding his weight.

"Bombur!" 

The overly large dwarf caught the piece of meat in his hand, the table he was sitting on creaked causing Bombur to look down in fear before the table completely collapsed under him. The dwarves roared in laughter as Bombur rolled on the floor struggling to get up. Kili's laughter died down as he looked around and noticed Ruive wasn't there, he knew she did not go with his uncle for she had come with them but the place she had been sitting was now empty, so where could she be?

"I'll be back." Kili murmured to his brother, who grinned knowing where he was going, before wandering around the halls looking for a certain gold haired dwelf. 

He turned a corner to find himself at a balcony. The roof was held up with pillars of light grey stone that matched the rails, the balcony gave a clear view of the stars and moon in the sky which lit up the outline of the mountains in the distance. Kili glanced around his eyes coming to a stop of the figure he had been searching for sitting on the railing leaning against a pillar. She had one knee bend up with her arms wrapped around it and the other hanging over the edge of the balcony. The skirt of her dress billowed softly in the breeze revealing her bare feet. Ruive had her eyes trained on the moon and the stars in the sky, lost deep in her thoughts she did not notice Kili's presence.

"I wondered where you went." Kili said softly breaking the silence between them.

Ruive blinked coming out of her thoughts and turned her head to see Kili standing there shyly. 

"I just needed some air." She whispered before looking back at the stars. 

She hoped that if she did not look at him that he would leave and she would not be tempted, but part of her wanted him to stay. It was something about the way he looked at her today, like he'd never seen the sky before, that sparked something in her that she had not felt for a long time. And part of her wanted that spark to become a flame. 

"You look beautiful." Kili said quietly, but Ruive still heard him. 

Ruive bit her lip refusing to look at him, if she did she feared the walls she put up to protect people from herself would come crashing down.

"Why won't you look at me?" Kili asked coming closer trying to catch her eyes.

"You would not understand." She said turning her head away further.

"Then help me." Kili pleaded, he thought back to earlier. "Is it because of Arathorn?"

Ruive's head snapped towards Kili in shock. 

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard you say his name, but when the elf shook his head you looked sad. I cannot help but think it is because you care for him more than you would a friend." Kili said, his voice soft.

"Arathorn is the man I owe my life to. If not for him I would have died at the hands of the orcs who tortured me for 90 years." She admitted. 

"He's the one who asked me to join the Rangers, he has a son who stays here while he is away. I had hoped that he might be here, he is like a father to me." 

Kili looked down in shame. 

"Forgive me, I was out of line."

"You needn't apologize, the reasons I am like this, you wouldn't understand." 

Ruive looked down at her lap. She waited for Kili to reply but heard him shuffling around. Looking up she found him sitting in a similar position to her leaning against the pillar opposite her.

"Then help me understand." Kili stated simply.

Ruive shook her head. 

"No-I, you don't know me. And you wouldn't want to if you did."

Now it was Kili's turn to shake his head. 

"You are wrong, I want to know you. So please tell me so I can understand why you hide yourself from me."

Ruive studied him for a moment. His long dark brown, almost black hair draped over his shoulders apart from two braids pinning his hair off his face. His cheeks and chin was dabbled in stubble that stretched down under his jaw. The last thing she looked at were his eyes; they were a deep brown that reminded her of the bark of an oak tree. His eyes were so full of emotion, telling Ruive everything he was feeling; wonder, excitement, curiosity, sadness, and something else. Something Ruive saw in the eyes' of her father when he gazed at her mother; was it love? No, it couldn't be, could it? Ruive bit her lip breathing deeply through her nose before doing something she had not done in a long time; she opened up to Kili.

For hours they spent telling each other stories of their childhood. Ruive was careful about how much detail she gave away; she didn't tell him the name of the dragon that destroyed her homeland, nor did she tell him the name of the elf she was in love with, or the kingdom he came from. If the ever found out she was engaged to the son of the elf who betrayed them, they would surely hate her. And worse if they ever found out that it was Smaug that had destroyed her home because she failed to kill him they would hate her perhaps even more. She smiled and laughed occasionally as Kili told her stories of the mischief he and Fili got up to as dwarflings, she even shared some stories of her and Tauriel and the mischief they caused as well.

Ruive and Kili's laughter died out and Ruive sighed looking at the stars. 

"You are afraid." Kili whispered. "You've lost so much that you're afraid to hold on to anything, you believe if you do, you'll lose it." 

"Everyone I have ever loved or let myself care for I have lost, because I failed them. I cannot let that happen again." Ruive whispered, tears were forming in her eyes but she held them back, she was not weak.

"It won't, you won't fail again I promise." Kili sat forward and placed his hand on Ruive's only to have her snatch it away, stand up and walk a few steps away from him.

"How can you be so sure? How do you know that if I let myself care for you that I won't lose you?!" Ruive's voice raised and a stray tear rolled down her cheek.

"I don't know." Kili admitted softly, his eyes pleaded with her to not walk away, to not shut him out. 

"No, I won't let another die because of me." 

Ruive turned and practically ran from the room her dress swishing behind her, leaving behind a heartbroken Kili.