R.I.P Bon

Chapter 2

The remainder of the day passed in a blur. I faintly remember the echoing of ambulance sirens, the hushed whispers exchanged by town members who had gathered in the street outside Bon's home, the endless supply of tears that escaped Bon's mother's weary eyes and the sympathetic glances that I averted my eyes from. I didn't say much that day; come to think of it, I could barely pass as a functioning human being. A walking, breathing zombie, without a hint of emotion in sight. A large part of me wanted to break down and cry, while another part of me wanted to kick and scream, to release the anger that was burning deep inside me, but my body wasn't allowing me to do either of these things. I answered the police's questions as best I could, explaining how I had found Bon's body that morning. But I was caught off guard when the policeman questioning me had asked, “You were closer with Bon than anybody, do you have any idea what it was that drove him to take his own life?”

I simply stood there, stunned, and shook my head, at a loss for answers. Why did he do it? Why did he end his own life? Surely there were some signs that I missed somewhere within the six years we had spent down there by the water's edge. Did I never listen to a single world that he was actually saying? He had been in pain this whole time, and I didn't see it until now, now that it's too late. He had been crying out for help his whole life but nobody had even noticed, and now he's cried out in the loudest way possible, a way that nobody can ignore. But this time, nobody can help him. I clenched my fists and ground my teeth together as the numbness was beginning to fade and feeling was returning to my body. I couldn't take any more of this, I had to get away from this house.

So I ran, as far as my legs would take me, ignoring anyone who attempted to reach out to me in the sea of familiar faces flooding the once serene streets of my hometown. I ran until I tasted the sea water in the air, and felt the warmth of the sand beneath my feet. When the sand turned into rock, I knew I had arrived. I paced back and forth, between the rocks where me and Bon would be sitting, talking about life, right at this moment, if he were still here. But instead, I was alone. As my legs began to ache, I sat, resting my chin on my hands. A part of me was still convinced he was here, that he was going to sit on the vacant rock next to me any moment now, apologising for his absence. But as I stared into the crystal blue ocean, I saw nothing but his blue eyes, looking back at me.

I scooped up a rock from my feet and threw it at the water in anger; I wanted to break those eyes, I wanted Bon to experience the pain that his family and friends were feeling because of him. I was angry and hurt and hated him all the same; how could he do this to us? How could he leave us like this?

“You know I was there man, you knew that I fucking cared!” I hissed angrily as the rock hit the water with a splash. It simply sunk, and those crystal blue eyes remained perfectly intact. I let my head fall into my hands and shut my eyes tightly.

January, 2007

I stumbled through the sand with my hands deep in my pocket and groaned to myself; first days of school are always such a drag. There were kids from different schools all along the beach, I hadn't made a single friend yet so I avoided the groups of giggling girls and prepubescent boys, finding solitude in the reefs at the southern end of the beach. I dropped my heavy school bag onto one of the rocks and sat, watching the waves. I liked being at the beach, but hated the way the water was always so cold around here, even in the summer. My train of thought was interrupted as a group of boys from another school gathered around the beach next to my unknown hiding spot.

They were gathered in a circle around another boy, and seemed to be pushing him. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but they seemed to be yelling names at him. His school bag was turned inside out not far from the circle, his books buried in the sand. I did not recognise any of the boys in the group, and even though my instinct told me to stay away at a safe distance, while their backs were turned I jumped up and as swiftly as I could I gathered the boy's school bag and books from the sand, then returned to my rock.

After a short amount of time passed, the group of boys appeared to get bored and disappeared somewhere further down the beach, leaving the boy that was in the middle of the circle sitting in the sand. He struggled to his feet and as he scanned the beach for his school bag and belongings I ran back over to him and handed him his bag. He looked at me with cautious eyes and I smiled warmly.

“Hi, I’m Tyler!” I said cheerfully.

He replied cautiously, “I'm...I’m Bon.”

We stood in silence for a few moments, both of us unsure of what to say next.

“Hey I found this pretty cool spot that nobody will bother you at, wanna check it out?” I said, pointing over to the reef.

He paused for a moment, his gaze scanning over the rest of the beach fearfully, then nodded.

April, 2007

“And then for the whole English lesson our teacher had no idea what was going on, you had to be there dude it was hilarious!” We howled with laughter as we sat side by side at our rocks, our feet dangling in the chilly water.

“Hey, you know what we should do from now on?” Bon said as we both calmed down from our fit of laughter.

“What?” I replied, intrigued.

“We should meet here, every day from now on. When school finishes we'll come down here and even on weekends, and we'll both just always be here.”

I smiled in agreement, “That sounds like an awesome plan, count me in!”

Bon smiled, his ocean blue eyes as bright as the deep blue ocean that danced in the sunlight that sunny afternoon.

I shuddered as I took my face back out of my hands, memories of Bon swarming in my head, poisoning every thought I had. I said that I'd always be here, and I was. So why did Bon break his end of the deal? It wasn't fair. The sun was once again beginning to set over the distant horizon, and my head ached from lack of sleep. I knew my dreams would be plagued with memories of Bon, but I had to return home eventually; I physically could not avoid sleep any longer. So as the sun went down that night, so did I.