Thoughts of an adolescent brain.

Maybe I was just drunk on rum and juice when...

...It was a quater to midnight,

I was a little drunk on rum and juice.

My mom had picked me up from a friends' birthday party,

we talked in the car and drove through forests and it was pitch black .

When I was at home, I changed into a jumper and shorts,

I went outside, on my balcony as I did sometimes,

stared at the night,

heard the leaves rattle in the wind, flying across the street.

Autum, mid october.

Raining teeny-tiny drops now and then with the wind

I imagined they would be the same color as the sky, the darkest shade of blue.

It was barely warm enough to stand outside without being cold,

but only for about ten minutes.

The soft lights in my room annoyed me because they were too bright

and sort of tamed down the beauty of the night.

It was like there were two different worlds

-apart from all the other worlds. I sometimes feel like I live in so many differnet ones-

People during the day,

and people during the night,

were completely different.

It was like the door to my balcony was a door between these worlds.

The street lights and tvs in other houses created light too.

Like little dots of orange and white sprinkled into black and blue.

-Something my eyes could cling to-

All these houses and trees and signs I've looked at a thousand times,

looked so different, even though the shapes were the same, I could look through the trees and see so many small details that seemed not to be there during the day.

Or maybe we we're just too busy during the day, to notice how beautiful they are .

What made me sad was, that there were no stars to be seen.

-Probably, because we lived too close too the city.

Or maybe there were just clouds. I couldn't tell.

Humans even take away the nights most beautiful feature:

Like freckles on a fair skinned child:

The graveyard of a billion dying stars,

so tragically beautiful.

Sprinkled all over the huge canvas above our heads.

They -we- take it away by leaving the lights on,

to pretend that our day hasn't ended yet.

But is the night really such a bad thing?

Everyone says the night is so dark and dangerous and bad.

But what if it's not.

It's beautiful in a different way,

we're just told to avoid it.

But when you don't, when you seize it like the day,

you realize how stunningly wonderful it truly is .

Then I started to get cold and went back inside after taking one last deep breath

of that crisp fresh air, which smelled like leaves and rain and coldness.

And then I was sad again because it was so beautiful and yet, I was the only person standing on my balcony.