Thoughts of an adolescent brain.

My 17th Halloween.

I had great expectations. Halloween: the night of spooky, scary wonderfulness, all things fun, was supposed to be spectacular. It's one of those nights you just have to spend with your friends and see what happens, because if you don't, you're gonna look back on the time you were seventeen and think "aw man, I wish I knew what would have happened. It's one of the last Halloweens I get to spend with them, before we all go our own ways.". Being seventeen that night meant being clueless about your best friends' driving, who just turned 18 and you were afraid of actual killer clowns walking around the corner while you were having a smoke in secret. But as always, great expectations are bound to be unfulfilled.

I had to choose between three parties that night. Two wild ones where I barely knew anyone and one where we'd just stay in and watch horror movies. One of the first got cancelled and going to that second one would have just been one big hassle, so watching horror movies it was. I spent the evening with my glittery cheekbones and funky hairstyle and my push up bra, I wore once a year, smoking with that one other guy, drinking alone and sadly eating chips on a chair while everyone semi-heartedly enjoyed a horror movie. Just before the second movie was on, I decided to move my poor ass to the floor, grabbed a pillow and shut my shimmery eyelids. I think I had more time going into drivers-ed that day, with my hot teacher, who knew my name by now, and a few other kids who made it in, on this spectacular night.

I woke up again with the room almost empty. The movie had ended and the ones who hadn't gone home yet were asleep, scattered on the couch, floor or squeezed together in beds. A rather chubby cat was sleeping next to me on the couch. My best friend, who had had to stay sober in order to drive me, was fast asleep and waking her was painful. We said our two goodbyes, grabbed our stuff, defrosted the windshield, turned up the heat and drove home, listening to some sweet, mellow Lee MacDougall. I fumbled for my keys, told my best friend to let me know when she got home and let myself into our house. It was dark and everyone was asleep, as it was around quarter to four. So I ran against the door with glass bottles in my bag and woke everyone up. At least he knew I was home, my dad said. I saw the full basket of candy next to the door. Seeing this made me sad, no-one had come by to trick or treat. It made me very sad, in fact. Thus I grabbed a milky way on my way upstairs, changed and ate that milky way, pantsless on my bed at four in the morning and went to sleep, on this spectacular night.