King Stupid

Dinner of The Dead

"Place your dreams where they're meant to be

Name your price to be at ease

To comply is to lose our innocence

Now I am not so innocent" ~Mt. Wolf- Life Size Ghost

I got dressed, well... my servants dressed me. I didn't tell them to do it, they just did. Whenever I'm ill, my whole family and the whole kingdom over pamper me. I don't mind being pampered it just gets annoying after a while, ya know? I'm a big boy, I can go to the restroom by myself. I don't need someone making sure I didn't shit myself. One of the most annoying thing's is that I've only been sick for a few hours. It was a few hours ago when I vomited all over myself.

The worst part wasn't the servants dressing me, it was the fact that Karmin was watching them. She keeps staring at me like I'm eye candy. She's fucking licking and biting her lip my right now staring at me and I'm sorta, very, creeped out. She's like four, has she even gone through puberty yet?

The servants took off my shirt and she did that weird wolf whistle at me and smirked. What a little pervert. She acts like she hasn't seen me like this before. "Hey there sexy, mind continuing that show for a little long?" Disgusting.

After I was finally dressed and the servants left the room I glared at Karmin. "What the hell do you think you're doing!?"

"Watching a show." She threw a few gold coins at me. "Now continue."

"I'm not a stripper..."

"Oh I'm sorry. Was I supposed to put dollars in after the show?"

My eyes twitched a little, "I'm not a prostitute."

"Yeah I know, I'd kill whoever payed to sleep with you."

"What!?"

"What?"

I'm just going to pretend she didn't say any of that...

"Anyways... What did you do with that cyclops eye?" She pulled out a small glass bottle with a corked top. Inside the bottle was a miniature version of the large cyclops eye.

"Why is it so tiny?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"What..." Did she just say I have a small dick... Is it actually small? I was tempted to look but I decided against it.

"I was joking it isn't tiny... can't believe you were about to check you weirdo. Shouldn't you know your own size? Don't you ever wack off with it?" Wack off? What does she mean by that? Why would I wack off my penis? That sounds painful. I gave her a questioning look and she face palmed. "Masturbate you idiot!" Why did she wack instead of masturbate? I still don't do it either way.

I shook my head. She's a little deviant. Wait, why did I care how big my thing was to her? I'm just going to pretend that conversation also never happened. "I'm going to walk off and pretend you never just asked me that." I turned around and began to walk out the room.

"Dude! You're like twenty one and you're ragging in hormones, how?"

"Because I'm not a teenage loser who has nothing better to do than masturbate to others having sex. Plus aren't you the teen here raging in hormones?"

"Stupid I'm a witch, I don't get periods." Well you learn something new everyday, but I highly doubt that.

     Turns out today is some special day and many important people are coming over our castle to eat dinner and discuss something, I'm guessing it has to do with the wedding of Louise and Eugene. Since they weren't expecting any extra guest Elizabeth decided to let Karmin borrow one of her dresses. My father wasn't at all okay with that and had Karmin taken to our personal stylish/tailor. I was forced to go with her because she's "My guest" somehow.