Cogent

FOURTEEN

"Are you gonna order, honey?"

            Kaleb's eyes fluttered open and he sat up, rubbing his eye with the palm of his hand. He glanced around, reorienting himself with his surroundings. He was still at the diner. He'd been here for hours, ever since he stormed out on Noah in a fit of childish anger.

            Kaleb's hand swiped down the side of his face, pulling at his pale skin. He'd needed some time alone. It was hard to be around Noah sometimes. These days 'sometimes' was beginning to feel like 'all the time.' All Noah ever did was paint and sulk and fight with Derek and Jen. Everything was just drama, drama, drama with those three. Noah always acted like the shed was a prison, so bitter about Kaleb being forced to stay in there. But the shed felt like paradise compared to the house. At least in the shed there was peace and quiet.

            "I said are you hungry?" the waitress repeated, leaning closer to him.

            Kaleb jumped, startled, and cleared his throat absentmindedly. He shook his head.

            The waitress sighed. "Well, you can't stay here without ordering. I already let you sit there most of the night. Do you even know what time it is?" she pointed to the clock on the wall with the pen in her hand.

            Kaleb nodded at her, slowly lifting himself from the barstool and pushing away from the counter. He was lucky they'd allowed him to sit there all night. It was Barbara who'd made sure that no one kicked him out. She always used to serve him and Lenny when they'd come to the diner together. "Where is Lenny these days?" Barbara, the waitress, inquired. She held out her notepad for him to take and write down the answer. That was their routine.

            Kaleb paused. With a frown, he shook his head and walked out. There was no way he was going to write down the answer to that question. The bells on the door rang loudly as it slammed shut on its own.

Tired, hungry and disheartened, Kaleb wandered down the parking lot toward the highway. He walked most of the way with his gaze directed at the ground but the sound of a slamming door caught his attention. When he looked up, he saw a car a few yards away, engine running, the driver stalled near the edge of the lot.

A man and a woman were visible through the window, talking furiously about something. The face of the driver—a man in his mid-thirties—was somewhat familiar. Kaleb couldn't be sure, but he thought he had seen him before. The woman, however, was a stranger. As the redhead pulled on her seatbelt, the man hit the gas and the car sped onto the highway, out of sight within a minute or two.

            Kaleb stood there for a while and watched vehicles pass by, shuffling his feet. He needed to get back to the school. Noah was probably worried by now. Worry quickly turned to anger with him, and it didn't take long either, especially these days. It was getting harder and harder for Noah to control his emotions. Sure, he could stuff them down and act all calm. But in an hour or two he'd crack. That's when the rage would come...or the tears. Kaleb didn't like to think of his brother as being unstable, but there was a part of him that always felt wary of Noah—as if he didn't quite know what to expect from his younger brother.

            The walk to the school was a quick one. The town, with all its industrial factories and abandoned buildings near the high school appeared abandoned after the morning rush of school busses and commuter cars had passed. There was a layer of fog hovering over the streets, reminding everyone of the season. Cold morning air was enough to keep Kaleb moving at a fast pace, his head lowered against the winds sweeping in off the coast. As it grew later in the year, storms became more frequent. Still damp from last night's walk in the rain, Kaleb hoped to avoid any more unpleasant weather. Fog he could handle. Rain was such a drag.

            It took a good hour of walking before he reached the basement door. By then, students were beginning to hang around the exits, loitering in halls before classes. Kaleb was careful to go around to the back stairs, where the entrance to the basement was concealed by a solid wall of brick on either side. When he reached the big blue door, Kaleb bent down to the crack in the pavement and lifted a portion of the step, revealing a key. He used it to unlock the door, holding it open with his foot as he replaced the key under the broken concrete and then slipped inside.

            Kaleb hurried down the hallway, pausing when he reached the interior basement door. It was always left unlocked. He pushed it open, spotting Noah on the sofa right away. Shutting the door softly, Kaleb switched off the light and crossed the basement. Settling next to his brother on the sofa. The dark silence seemed to swallow up his slightly labored breaths.

            "Where did you go?" Noah mumbled, barely awake.

            "The diner." Kaleb answered, closing his eyes. The old sofa was much more comfortable now than it had been before. He knew he must be getting tired, since it had always been difficult for him to sleep in new places.

            "Did you eat?" Noah asked. His voice sounded rough, and Kaleb thought he might have been crying. Or yelling. Hard to tell.

            "No. Did you?"

Kaleb glanced down when Noah didn't answer. His stillness indicated that he'd already fallen back asleep, but his eye was open.

"Noah?" Kaleb shifted to look at his brother more closely.

            Noah didn't move.

            "Noah," Kaleb reached over and shook him with enough force to garner some reaction.

Noah inhaled softly, blinking. He groaned as Kaleb released him. "I don't feel so good," he muttered, falling onto his side, away from Kaleb.

"You need to eat, Noah." Kaleb said, getting to his feet. "I'll go get you something."

"I'm not hungry."

"I didn't ask if you were hungry." Kaleb snapped.

"Keith keeps food over there..." Noah motioned toward the workbench. He didn't want Kaleb running around outside. Someone might stop him and ask what he was up to and why he wasn't in school. Realizing this himself, Kaleb was grateful to find a plastic baggy of beef jerky in one of the cupboards next to a jar of screws.

"Eat." He handed Noah a piece of meat. Noah stared at the jerky unmoving until Kaleb put it in his hand. "Eat it, or I'll go get Keith and tell him what you're doing."

"I thought you couldn't talk to Keith...or anyone...it's against the rules." Noah smirked for a few seconds before growing tired of the effort.

Kaleb thought about this—about how difficult it would be to go and get someone to help Noah if something were to go wrong. Taking the time to write things down like he used to do with the waitresses at the diner only worked when he wasn't pressed for time. Any emergency situation wouldn't be the same. Time would be precious.

A long sigh escaped him. He felt so limited—so useless. If he was normal, everything would be different. Noah wouldn't even be the same person if it weren't for Kaleb. Maybe their mother would've been different too, if things were different. If Kaleb hadn't done...if he'd only known what he was capable of.

"Don't do that, Kale." Noah turned onto his back and lifted the jerky to his lips, nibbling at it. "That thing, with your eyes. The guilt."

"I'm not doing it." Kaleb protested.

"You're a lying ass."

"Eat the jerky and shut up." Kaleb retorted gently, sitting back down. He pulled some of the meat out of the bag and ate a few pieces, keeping a careful eye on his brother the whole time. He made sure Noah ate some of the jerky before they both fell asleep again.

When Kaleb woke, Noah was sitting up, brushing the crusted blood from his face with the back of his bandaged hand. "Hey," he greeted.

"What time is it?" Kaleb asked, scratching his cheek and stretching.

Noah rested his hand against his leg, his face tilted downward. He seemed solemn, but not as exhausted as he'd been a few hours ago. When he glanced up at Kaleb, his eyes were a mask of calm. "It's time to go home."