Cogent

TWENTY-NINE

"Prove it," Noah said.

Tess shook her head. "Lenny's death wasn't proof enough?"

"If you know who killed her, why haven't you told anyone? Why aren't they in jail?"

"Can't you figure that out yourself?"

"Who are they?" Noah demanded, stalking towards her. Anger boiled up under his skin, causing his voice to come out sharper than he'd meant it to. "Where can I find them?"

"I don't know. Only Lenny knew, and now she's gone. Don't you see what that means? People who find out about them, who get in their way, end up dead. And that's if they weren't trying to kill you in the first place. They already know about you, Noah. They have ever since you got arrested."

Noah stopped, his anger turning cold at her words. She knew about that?

She knows who you are. Who you really are. That you're just a piece of shit.

"I don't care," Noah said, in response to both of them. "My life doesn't mean shit anyway."

"No, no that's not true," Tess said, her expression softening. He couldn't take the look in her eyes. That pitying, awful look.

"You don't know me," he mumbled.

"I do. I know who you are, Noah. I've known you for a long time. I even read your file."

"My file?" he scoffed. As if that meant anything. Who he was on paper was not who he was in real life.

"I know about your brother, your mom...your dad. You've been alone for a really long time and it's so hard to trust people. I know what that's like. I just want to help."

"Is that why you brought me to the hospital?" he demanded, anger returning. If she knew his situation, how could she risk his freedom by taking him there?

"I didn't know what else to do. You looked so sick and I-I was scared." Tess rubbed her arm, digging the toe of her shoe against the ground. "Lenny asked me to watch out for you. I was just trying to do that."

"And your brother? Does he know I'm a freak too?"

"Brad doesn't know anything. He's not...one of us."

Noah was silent for a moment, letting her words sink in. One of us. As if the power to destroy people and take away their free will was some kind of club to be a part of. An elite group of screwups, that's what they were. A bunch of futureless kids that the world didn't care about. Except for Lenny. She cared. She was the only one who...

"Why did Lenny tell you about me?" Noah asked suddenly.

"She wanted me to help you."

"Help me? How?"

"The same way I got you to come here. She said that I could help you learn to control your cogency. To help you feel human again. You're not an animal, Noah. You don't have to do what your instincts tell you. There are ways to fight back and control the urges. And that voice," she touched her head. "I had it too. Until Lenny showed me how to get outside of myself."

"How?" he asked carefully. "How did you do it?"

"I'll tell you everything," Tess promised. "But not here."

Noah tilted his head, feeling torn. "I don't have time to go anywhere with you. My brother—Kaleb, he's waiting. And my mom. They're depending on me. I can't leave them hanging."

Tess gave him a small smile. "I understand, Noah. I want to help."

They drove around for hours looking for any sign of Kaleb or Jen. Noah directed her to all the old haunts where he had hidden out from Leon or Derek or both. Dark thoughts kept tempting him. The desire to hunt down Troy was strong. What if he had picked up Jen and Kaleb and brought them back to his drug den? All he would need to do was ask nicely, with eye-contact.