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Hello!

Authors Note: This chapter has briefly mentioned or hinted triggering elements such as; rape, murder, and self-harm. I have added %%%% above and below said section to warn readers. Please take this into account when you are reading.

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Misaki

The pain. It burned, slowly making its way through my body and into my bloodstream. Was there a reason to struggle? I wasn't sure, but I was almost sure that the pain wouldn't stop. The pain has never ceased.

The world was a cruel place. I was always so naive, blind to the things that lurked around the corners. The monsters that preyed on the weak. It was not till later on in life that I understood that the dark things behind the corners, were human.

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A few months before my eighteenth birthday, I found that I had no faith left. No hope for the humanity I had once dreamt of. The pain wouldn't stop. It hurt so much.

Everything hurt. Existing hurt. It wouldn't stop, would it?

My parents died.

My brother had to give up his dream to support us.

People I once loved and cared for, changed. It seemed hard to live. What was there to live for when I had no hope.

August twelfth, six days before my birthday, was a day that I will never be able to forget.

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It was the day I died, the day I was murdered. They left my dignity and my naked corpse in an alleyway.

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It rained that day. The cool droplets soothed the burning flames and the oozing warmth from my abdomen. I could feel myself grow cold. Was this where it ended? Where I ended?

What about Nii-chan? I don't want to leave him, but I was so tired. I felt my eyelids grow heavy despite the effort I put to keep them open.

I closed my eyes to rest.

The pain would never stop.

The earlier people understand the better.

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Ritsu

At a very young age, I came to learn that I was not an ordinary kid.

My parents owned a large publishing company.

When I was admitted into public schooling, I was immediately befriended. I did not understand why everyone had decided to befriend me until I admitted that I had no money to spare for lunch and was immediately abandoned.

As I got older, I learned that alone was safe. There were no risks when alone, and so I isolated myself among the books.

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When I was fifteen, my interest was caught by an older classman that I came to know as 'Saga-Sempai'.

I had never met anyone that read as much as I did. Without my knowing, my walls had started to fall for him.

He looked at books like they had the answers to the universe. It seemed he had a thirst for knowledge, or I assumed so because he never stuck to one particular genre. I started observing him every day after school.

I would look at the books he would read and checked it out immediately after he had returned it, just so that I could fill in my name under his. I believed that was probably the closest I would ever be able to get to him.

One day, I saw him hesitating to grab a book. I watched him look at it from behind the shelves, and soon, he walked away, leaving the book behind. I came from behind the bookshelf and reached to grab it. As my fingers grazed the spine, I saw the familiar porcelain fingers reaching out to grab the same book.

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After that, it was all a blur. I cherished the moments we had, the food we ate together, and the study sessions.

Everything.

One day, we went to his bedroom. I was nervous. My heart seemed to be pounding in my ears. Blood rushed upwards, warming my neck and cheeks. I remember everything.

I told him I loved him. I remember the pain I felt when he laughed at me. I couldn't bear to stay after that, and so I left.

Was I just a toy? A way to pass the time?

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I did not know how to cope with the overflowing sadness in my heart. Self-harm was never primarily about emotions. In my head, it was logical. Replace one pain with another. It never worked, I still remembered everything I loved about him, but I could never stop.

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I felt naive and vulnerable. How could I believe that someone like him would ever develop feelings for me? I couldn't bear it. I didn't want to see him and be reminded.

And so I put in an application to study abroad.

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I could not get him out of my head. I did not want to remember anything. I wanted to forget his face, his favorite books, the way he held his chopsticks when he ate, and the way he held me.

I did not know how I did not see it before, there was no way he could love me. It was all just wishful thinking.

I can't take back time, or what I did. So I closed myself off to everyone, permanently closing the metaphorical the doors.


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I had waited a few years before returning from England.

After moving back, I had to buy groceries to supply my fridge. On the way to the supermarkets, I saw an elderly woman in the middle of the street, a bus driving rapidly towards her. I made a split-second decision, I pushed her out of the way, essentially putting my body in her place.

The impact killed me.

I died a warm June day, in the middle of the road in my own blood, but I never did regret saving her. Before I died, a familiar face flashed before my eyes. I couldn't make out his name. . . but I could hear a voice whisper,

"Saga-Sempai."

I closed my eyes to shield myself from the bright sun.

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Hello, Lovelies, I will be updating this fanfic - please be patient with me as I try and improve my fiction for you all.

Thank you!

-FBoS** Important Note: If you are someone who is struggling. Please get help. You are important, cared for, and loved. **

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