Malik and Styles

Chapter Twenty: My Past

*Carolins POV*

No way in hell am i going to have sex wit him...then all the sense popped int omy head. I forcefully pushed him off of me and he had a confused look on his face.

"What?" He asked breathless. Then i remember what i told him today..that i....i....loved him. i shake my head and look at the ground...how can i love someone who i barely even know. 

"Tell me" he snapped. i look up and took a deep breath.

"Look Zayn...maybe i was wrong...i dont even know you...and i love you? it cant be...i cant love you...im sorry for saying it to you... I-" i started to say before he hit the wall scaring the shit outta me. i jump back as he catches his breath.

"Zayn?" I say softly. He groaned and left the gym. i slowly get up and walk out the door, i see him get on his motorcycle and drive off....i had the slightest idea to follow him and thats certainly what i did. I followed him straight to this torn down house. He got off of his bike mumbling words..he got inside and slammed the door shut....

Maybe i should just turn away...maybe coming here was a mistake...but part of me wanted to know...just get to know him. He couldnt be the monster that everyone think he is. I slowly walk up to his door and knock on it. Seconds late he opens it. His eyes widen and his eyes got dark.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" He yelled. 

"I was seeing if you were alright!" I yell back. He slammed the door in my face. OH HELL NO. This time i knocked even louder and harder. This caused him to open the door, pull me inside and he slammed the door behind him

"What the hell is your problem." He hissed at me, before i could say anything i look to my left to see a whole bunch of drugs on the table. My eyes widen and i take a step back. What the hell have i gotten myself into.

"I better get going.." I say quickly heading towards the door but he stopped me right in my tracks.

"Its too dangerous out there...you just got here after you fucking came all the way out here just ot see if i was 'alright'" he spat. This mad me mad...i HATED this side of Zayn..the dark,scary,mean side to him. I cross my arms and glare at him.

"Well duh after the fact that you told me that you 'loved' me. You dont love me...no way in hell" i spat back at him. He clenched his fists and his jaw. He went over to the table and snorted some white powder into his nose and wiped the remainings off of his nose. I stood there wide eyed.

"Want some?" He asked. Tears started to form in my eyes and ran quickly up the stairs and into his room i guess. I closed it and locked it and slid down to the floor. I pull my knees up to my chest and silently cried...my dad used to do drugs and seeing Zayn do it brought back memories.

"Carolin??" I hear Zayn pound on the door. I wipe my tears and go into Zayns bed. I text my mom saying im staying over a friends house so she wouldnt worry too much.

"OPEN UP!!!" I hear Zayn shout, i ignored it and saw a little book on the side of the room. I quickly got up and picked it up..it looked like a sketch book. I opened it and saw hundreds of drawing he did...it amazed me...he was talented..

"CAROLIN IF YOU DONT OPEN UP I SWEAR ILL BREAK THIS DOOR DOWN!" I hear Zayn yelling snapping me out of my thoughts. I put the book away and climb under the sheets and close my eyes..He has such great talent and he throws it all away for drugs. Why does he want to be this way??

*Zayns POV*

After she told me that she didnt love me...i broke down..I dont know what got to me but i knew one thing that ALWAYS calmed me down...drugs. Carolin coming over ruined it for me, me and my drug time was the only time to myself....

"CAROLIN IF YOU ONT P{EN UP I SWEAR ILL BREAK THIS DOOR DOWN!" I yell again. I wait for a response but still nothing. I dug deep into my pocket and found paperclip...perfect. I stuck it in and skillfully open the door to Carolin sleeping on my bed.....i walk around to see her face. Her face had tear stains and he eyes looked puffy...shit this is what i did...this is all my fucking fault...

"Fuck" i said softly. i ran my hands through my hair and sighed deeply.

"Im awake you know" I hear Carolins sweet voice say, i look and see her hazel eye look back at me.

"im sorry" i say kneeling down to her level. She didnt say anything..which drove me insane. I wanted to know what was on her mind...

"Why do you do drugs?" She asked softly....

"Money..i need to pay the rent here." I say looking around. She still seemed so unsure.

"What about your parents? Dont they take care of that?" She asked sitting up. the word 'parents' struck me hard. Just thinking about them made me angry...but i had to calm down. I cant get mad around Carolin..

"I havent seen them in 4 years" I said silently trying not remember the events that happened in my child hood. She slowly nodded knowing not to ask anymore..but i know she wanted to know..i HAVE to make her love me back though..i took a deep breath.

"When i was younger-" I started to say until she shushed me.

"I dont wanna hear it...if your not r-" She started to say before i interrupted her

"Im ready" I said sternly..she slowly nodded.

"When i was younger....my family NEVER had enough money..just like your family but my dad and mom.....a-abused me, i was a horrible child...i always got bad grades, was always in mischief...and i guess they had enough and started to hit me...told me to start selling drugs..practically made me their slave..its all my fault" I say closing my eyes letting a few tears fall from my face. NO ONE as NEVER seen my cry...but for some reason i felt i could cry in front of Carolin....i just knew she would care.

Just then she flew into my arms and hugged me.

"Im SO sorry" She said softly. It took a second but i finally hugged her back. She let go and cupped my face and looked straight into my eyes.

"it wasnt your fault...dont you think that!" She said softly...........

but her words didnt effect me. I knew it was my fault

*Abbys POV*

I walk inside my house and throw my stuff on the couch. I see my dad drinkng some soda and watching a baseball game.

"Hey daddy!" I say walking over to him. He smiled.

"Hey darling..! Your mom ordered Chinese tonight..it should be here soon" He said. YESSSSS FOOOODDDD! i walk upstairs to change into some PJs until i felt a drip slide down my leg. My eyes widen as i saw blood everywhere.

Im on my period...which means. 

IM NOT PREGNANT!!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSsss

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A/N: Ohh didnt see that coming now did you?!  Mwahahahahah! sorry abbys pov wasnt as long...

but um im making a new fan fic! :O yeappppp thats right! but dont worry ill still be writing this one! Almost 2000 reads! that is crazy! i love you all so much <3

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LOVE  YOU CUPCAKES THANKS FOR READINGGGG :D

~Carolin